


I'd Like To Make Those Dreams Come True

by needleyecandy



Series: Dreams [1]
Category: Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Character Death, Emotional Abuse, Fluff, Gratuitious hand-holding, Happy Ending, Intercrural Sex, JUST LET THOR LOVE YOU, M/M, Oral Sex, Pining, Smut, Thorki - Freeform, loki is a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-02
Updated: 2014-10-26
Packaged: 2018-02-19 13:58:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2390846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/needleyecandy/pseuds/needleyecandy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raised by his grandmother after his parents are killed in a car crash, Thor clawed his way up from nowhere to make his place in the world. When he is offered an executive position at Stronglane Enterprises, he becomes fast friends with Leo, the son of the CEO. But it's Leo's boyfriend, Loki, that really catches his eye. Loki is a rich, spoiled, gorgeous jerk- or at least that's what he wants people to believe. Thor slowly sees beneath the façade to the person underneath, and realizes how much he likes him. </p><p>When Leo and Loki break up, Thor thinks it's his big chance, only to find that the barrier, all along, was not Leo. It was Loki and his own pained defenses. Can Thor coax his way through them to show Loki that Thor cares for the man beneath the brittle shell?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Prettypearlnecklace](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prettypearlnecklace/gifts).



> This is my first time writing to a prompt (from the lovely Prettypearlnecklace), so I hope it turns out well. :) Chapters 1 and 2 are basically her idea that I've fleshed out, and 3-4 are my building on it.
> 
> The title is from [this song,](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CCAQtwIwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Du2wRJrrsRZ0&ei=5yQsVKftAYi9jALOzYD4CQ&usg=AFQjCNEN-sfnhWTfiMKaDa4h1gyWqPpG9A&bvm=bv.76477589,d.cGE) which I listened to quite a lot while writing the first half of this story.

The letter was waiting for Thor when he got home from work. **Stronglane Enterprises**  was in bold red type at the top left. It suited the character of the company, he mused. Or, more precisely, that of Joseph-call-me-Joe Logrin, founder and CEO. He’d been the typical back-slapping businessman, but Thor supposed he had a right to be whatever he wanted, after the way he’d pulled himself up from nowhere. Thor knew something about that, himself.

He tore it open, pausing a moment to take a breath before unfolding the letter. He got the job. _He got the job_.

“Grandma!” he yelled up the stairs. “I got it! VP of Communications!”

She came down to kiss him hello, and he noticed yet again how much she was slowing down on the stairs, babying her left knee.

“Thor, I’m so proud of you!” she said, squeezing his arm.

“And this offer… we’ll be able to move to a nice one-story in just a few months.” When she didn’t argue, he knew how very much her knee must be hurting. She’d always hidden things like that from him as best she could. Always taken care of him. Well, now it was his turn.

His first day was just two weeks later, as the company was eager to have the position filled as quickly as possible. The junior and senior executives met together in the large conference room to be introduced to Thor. The next-to-last person to introduce himself was about Thor’s age, and his smile was more personal and welcoming, less business-professional, than most of the others' had been. “Leo Logrin, VP of Development. And no one expects you to remember all these names right away,” he grinned.

Thor smiled back, grateful for the welcome. Leo invited him out to lunch that day, and the next, and the one after that. They found that they had a shared love for baseball history, and two of Thor’s friends from college had been at prep school with Leo. He was glad to be making a friend at his new job so quickly.

It didn’t last. Leo was heard slamming out of Joe’s office just a week later, yelling something about how he was already sick of hearing about perfect Thor. His smiles  
faded, and were finally replaced by outright hostility.

After one particularly bad meeting in which Leo had cut Thor off in the middle of a sentence, Thor followed him to his office and confronted him. “Leo, will you tell me what the hell is going on?”

“Are you serious?” Leo spat. “Ever since you came my father has done nothing but compare me to you, and I always come out the loser.”

“But you’re great at your job, everyone knows it.”

“Everyone except my father,” Leo said bitterly.

Thor sighed. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do, but I’ll try to think of something.”

His chance came during a presentation a week later. Leo was giving a powerpoint on the quarterly reports, and on the third slide, Joe interrupted him. “Those are the preliminary estimates, Leo. Could you not be bothered to update this with the real numbers?”

Leo looked like a deer in headlights, and Thor jumped in, crossing his fingers under the table. “That’s my fault, sir,” he said. “I meant to send those numbers to Leo, I must have forgotten.”

Leo cast him a grateful look as Joe calmed down immediately. “Well, you’re still getting settled in,” he told Thor easily. “Just don’t do it again.”

“I won’t sir. I’m sorry.”

When this meeting ended, it was Leo who followed Thor back to his office. “Why’d you do that?” he asked curiously.

Thor shrugged. “He was being kind of a jerk about it, and the estimates were so close it didn’t really make a difference to the point of your presentation.”

Leo slumped into a chair. “Thanks. I had a huge fight with my boyfriend last night, and I barely slept. I updated that slide show this morning but I guess I’m so tired that I didn’t hit save before I put it on my thumb drive.”

“That sucks,” Thor said sympathetically. “I hope things get patched up okay.”

“They will, they always do. Hey, if you’re free Saturday afternoon, I’m having a barbeque?”

"I am, that sounds great. Will it be people from here?"

"Probably about half, and then other people I know from around. I'll email you the address."

*****

Saturday morning found Thor standing in front of his closet, wondering what in the world one wore to barbeques in South Hill. He finally settled on a pair of dark gray slacks and a white shirt, both of which were new enough to still look nice, but old enough that it wouldn't be a terrible loss if they wound up covered and stained with barbeque sauce.

"Thor!" Leo yelled as he walked in the door. "I'm just headed down to the wine cellar to restock. There's beers in the fridge if you want. Make yourself at home and I'll come find you to do introductions in just a minute."

Thor smiled agreeably and wandered the way Leo had gestured, assuming it was towards the kitchen. It was. There was a woman there, peering into the beer selection herself, her high stilettos forcing her to bend nearly double to see in.

"Oh, hi!" she said brightly when she noticed him waiting. "I'm just trying to decide. What are you going for?" She moved to the side to let him look in with her.

"I don't think I've had any of these before," he admitted.

"Do you like sours?"

"I don't know. I like sour things in general."

"Then you have to try this," she said, shoving a bottle in his hands. _Supplication_ , it read. "It's a sour beer with cherries, and it's amazing. I think I just talked myself into one, too."

She smiled as she straightened and pointed out a bottle opener magnet on the freezer door. He popped the cap off the one he held, then traded with her and opened the second one. She smiled her thanks, and he hoped to get a conversation started, but as he heard someone walk past behind him, she yelled, "Kim! Hi!" She smiled again as she left the kitchen and continued down the corridor with her friend. He took a casual swig of his beer, trying to look comfortable. It was strikingly sour, but refreshing.

Not knowing what else to do, Thor wandered out to the patio overlooking the gardens, sipping on his drink as he walked. There was a man standing alone, leaning against the railing. He had long black hair that curled at the ends and a tall, lean body covered in black leather pants and dark green shirt, and the hand that was casually swirling his ice-filled glass had sensitive fingers with perfectly manicured nails. Even without seeing his face, he was one of the most scorchingly hot men Thor had ever seen.

He must have heard Thor pause, because he turned around, one eyebrow cocked, to look. The face more than matched the body; his cheekbones were like carved alabaster, and his eyes were a sparkling blue-green surrounded by sinfully thick black lashes. His lips were on the thin side, but sensually shaped.

“Hi!” Thor said, walking forward and offering his hand with more confidence than he felt. “I’m Thor.”

The man didn’t take his hand. Instead, he ran his eyes slowly down Thor’s body, his lips quirking slightly as they rose back up to meet Thor’s gaze. “Of course you are,” he purred.

It was more than a little unsettling, so Thor decided to continue brashly on. That tended to work out well enough for him. “I started at Stronglane last month. And I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch your name?”

The hint of a smirk broadened. “That’s because I didn’t say it. I’m Loki.”

Thor dropped his hand, giving up on any hope of a normal interaction with him. It obviously wasn’t going to happen. “A pleasure to meet you. What do you do?” he asked, taking one last stab at conversation.

Loki laughed. It was rich and low, and every bit as hot as the rest of him. He kept laughing as he straightened from the railing and walked inside the house, leaving Thor to stare after him.

Fortunately, Leo found him moments later and dragged him around the grounds, introducing him to everyone. It let Thor set aside how affected he was by the strange interaction on the patio, and soon enough he was settled in a lounge chair enjoying the conversation. The caterers began circling with platters of barbeque sandwiches, followed by others with dishes of cole slaw and grilled bread. The entire thing was so messy and delicious that Thor scarcely processed the fact that he was at a casual weekend barbeque with tuxedoed caterers doing the work.

He was relaxed, over-stuffed, and having a great time when Loki strolled over to the area where he was sitting. Despite the two empty chairs, he sprawled himself across Leo's lap.

Leo burst into laughter. "I can't eat my sandwich with you there, babe," he said.

"It's worth it," Loki answered, nuzzling his face into Leo's neck.

"I know," Leo agreed.

Thor finished his drink and excused himself on the pretense of getting another. After he got it, he saw the woman who had suggested the beer, and used it as an easy excuse to join a different group of people to chat. "This is really good," he said as he came to stand by her, holding it up.

"It's awesome, isn't it? I'm Meg, by the way," she said, smiling and offering him her hand.

"Thor," he said, shaking her hand. "I just started at Stronglane."

"Oh, you're the new guy! We've already heard all about you. Leo's my brother, and that guy in the blue shirt- " she said, pointing across the lawn, "is Joey, the youngest."

"And are you part of the business?" he asked, confused. He didn't think he'd seen either of them around the building.

"No, I'm an anthropologist and Joey is a social worker. You know how the baby of the family is the idealist," she said, smiling.

"Really? That's great," Thor said. He'd heard some horror stories about social workers, but the one assigned to his family after his parents were killed had been immensely helpful, and it left him with a good feeling about them in general.

"You want to meet him? Joey!" she yelled, beckoning him over. "This is Thor, he works with Leo," she said when he joined them.

"Hi, nice to meet you!" he said. His face was rounder than his older siblings, and it gave him an easy, open sort of look.

"You too," Thor said, shaking his hand.

"You've been there... a month now?" Meg guessed.

"Three weeks."

"Oh, that's all. How are you-" she broke off as a car alarm began sounding in the street. "Not again," she groaned. "That thing goes off if you <look> at it funny. Excuse me."

Joey finished Meg's question. "How are you liking it so far?"

"I think I'm settling in okay. It was a little overwhelming at first, my last job was at a much smaller company, but I'm getting used to it now." "That's good. I heard Leo already shoved you between him and Dad?"

Thor paused. He didn't really want to discuss it, but wasn't entirely sure how to get out of the direct question, either.

Joey laughed. "Don't worry about it. He was always doing that to Meg and me, too. I think it's partly why neither of us decided to go into business. Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"No, just me."

"Getting the fake-sibling treatment must be kind of overwhelming, then. Here," he said, pulling out his wallet and opening one side, "take my card and call me if he does it again. You shouldn't have to cover for him to make him be nice to you."

"Oh. You heard the details."

I did." Joey grinned. "We were just curious how you'd respond. Sorry. If it helps any, you passed the test with flying colors."

*****

Thor soon found himself with two completely separate social lives; there were his long-time friends, most of whom he'd known since childhood, and then there were the parties that Leo and his family kept taking him to. Balancing all of that with making sure that he wasn't neglecting his grandmother left him with little free time, but he had always been an outgoing, energetic sort, and he thrived on it.

His collaborations with Leo at work tended to have excellent results. While he liked being around Leo, though, Thor couldn't help noticing that those times when Loki wasn't wrapping himself around his boyfriend, Leo had a tendency to flirt with nearly anyone who came along. But as far as Thor could tell it never went beyond flirting, so he quelled his uneasiness at it. Until one night, at a wine-blending party at Leo's, when he got so drunk he began openly groping Julia, an old friend of Meg's who was currently in charge of the bottle of Malbec.

She didn't seem to mind. Loki, though, did. He stalked off, slipping through the French doors to the sprawling patio. Thor glanced around. No one else seemed to have noticed Loki's departure. He stood up and followed. Loki was standing in the exact spot where Thor had first seen him, and he was, if possible, even more stunning. 

"Hey," Thor said, leaning against the railing next to him.

Loki slid his eyes to the side to look at Thor without moving his head. "Yes?" he asked.

"Are you okay? That was really uncool, back there..."

Loki snorted. "That's one word for it. If you were educated in public schools."

The words didn't sting, though they were obviously meant to. "Yeah, well, I was."

Loki ran a critical eye over Thor's haircut (which, until this moment, he had thought looked well-done), and nodded his open acknowledgement of the fact.

"Fine, then. I just thought you might want to talk," Thor said, straightening to leave.

"No, wait," Loki said. His voice was softer, now, and he rested one hand over Thor's. "It's just... Leo's been there when a lot of other people weren't. That's a hard thing to give up on," he admitted.

"But if he treats you this way, is it really worth it?"

Loki shook his head. "I'm not ready to give up. I just wish he'd quit being like this."

"What about flirting with some idiot yourself, just a little? Make him realize that he doesn't want to lose you."

Loki smirked. "You know what? I think that might be just the thing."

*****

Over the next few weeks, Thor dropped out of the Stronglane circle almost entirely, as his grandmother was having dizzy spells and he hated to leave her alone. He hired a few students to take turns staying with her during the days, but in the evenings he simply felt better keeping an eye on her himself.

And then one night, his phone buzzed with a text. He picked it up, frowning slightly when he saw it was a number he didn’t know.

 _179 E. 16th St. Friday night at 10_.

He wrote back. _Who is this?_

When the reply came, he knew. _Oh, come now. Really._

Loki.

"What was that face?" his grandmother asked, laughing.

"Just someone I haven't seen in a while, asking if I'm free on Friday. I'm going to say no."

" _Thor_." His grandmother rarely used the stern voice he'd heard so often in his childhood, but it was still instinct to obey when she brought it out. Like now. "I am _not_  a little porcelain statue that's going to break the second you leave the house. Just ask Annie to stay overnight, we'll fix up the hide-a-bed and she'll be perfectly happy. Her textbooks this term cost so much money, I know she'd be glad of extra hours."

Thor called Annie, asking in an apologetic tone if there were any way she might be willing to spend the night, and that he would pay her double her normal rate. She was more than happy to accept, and Friday night came almost before he knew it.

Parking was unexpectedly bad, and he got there a few minutes late. It didn’t matter, of course, as Loki didn’t arrive until ten thirty. He looked even more expensive than usual, in clothes that were clearly not just tailored but made for him. He sighed as he looked over Thor’s outfit, taking in the light summer slacks and the casual shirt. “Here,” he said, sliding his watch off and handing it to Thor, “put this on and flash it around. It will have to do.”

Thor put it on, noticing the small diamonds that glinted from the face, the suppleness of the leather band. Loki regarded him critically, and then did something with his hair. “Come on,” he said, leading Thor past the long line of people at the door. The bouncers just nodded at him as he led Thor in.

The music was loud and pulsating, and Loki took Thor straight to the dance floor. He held up two fingers to a passing server before tugging at Thor’s arms, making him move with the music.

“I don’t really dance that much,” Thor yelled.

“You do now,” Loki answered, just as loudly. “Here. Like this.” He wrapped one of Thor’s arms around his waist and planted his feet on either side of one of Thor’s. They were so close that when Loki started moving, Thor didn’t really have a choice. He was just carried along with the flow.

The server returned quickly and placed a drink in each of their free hands. It was sparkling and lightly sweet, both fruity and floral. Loki’s had a straw. Halfway through their first round, Thor felt Loki stiffen briefly, and then he began flat-out grinding on him. Thor was confused until suddenly Leo was there, yelling in Loki’s face, and Loki was screaming back at him.

Just as fast as he came, Leo disappeared. “What the hell was all that?” Thor asked.

Loki rolled his eyes and gestured him to follow. They went to the back of the room, through an unmarked door and down a winding staircase.

“What do you mean, ‘what was that’? It was your idea.”

“My- oh, no. _No_ , Loki. I was just kidding around. I certainly wasn’t volunteering.”

"Don't be silly."

"How is it being silly to not want to be used in whatever is going on between the two of you? I mean, I know Leo's not perfect and he's done some seriously stupid shit, but he's still my friend."

"You're right, he is being stupid, and all I want is to make him realize it. Please, Thor. Aren't I your friend, too? I just want to make him appreciate me."

Even as Thor agreed, he knew it was a bad idea. But Loki had this way about him that was becoming rapidly more difficult to refuse.

Thor managed to simply avoid everything for another month, until one Saturday afternoon, when his grandmother checked the mail and found an letter, made of heavy, rich paper, addressed to Thor. She hovered as he opened it, admiring the envelope. She had been a talented watercolor artist before her hands grew too shaky for the precision work she liked best, and it left her with an enduring love for good paper.

"What is it?" she asked absentmindedly, her fingers running over the rich texture.

"Just a party invitation," he said. "I'm not going to go." A pool party at Meg's, where Leo and Loki would no doubt be in attendance, seemed like a <very> bad thing to attend. Possibly the worst thing ever. But-

"Do I have to do this again?" she asked, smiling at him. "I raised you from a little squirt, and I don't need you hovering around me. I'm fine. You're going to accept, and you're going to go. Look," she added, picking up a small slip that had fallen to the floor, "there's even an RSVP card."

The party turned out to be even worse than the abysmally awful experience Thor had expected. He pulled up at precisely the same time as Leo and Loki did, and there was no way to avoid wandering out to the pool all together. Only a few other people had arrived, and they greeted Meg as she waved to them from her deck chair. A couple others Thor didn't know where splashing about in the water, and Meg was in the middle of an intent conversation with Ellen, the head of accounting. She apparently had a student who was interested in researching corporate office culture, and Ellen was slowly warming to the idea of an anthropologist moving into a corner of her department.

Thor took the chair next to Sam, while Leo and Loki dropped their things on the ones next to Meg. Loki made a show of rummaging in his bag before announcing that he had forgotten his swimming trunks, and he caught Thor's eye as he casually stripped naked.

He was utterly perfect, like a sculpture that should be in a museum somewhere in Italy. Thor averted his eyes as Loki turned around suddenly.

"Whoa, careful!" Julia laughed. "You're gonna put someone's eye with that if you're not careful."

That was _just_  what Thor didn't need to know, that the front was as... blessed by nature as the rear view had been. He grabbed his bag and stood quickly to follow Leo into the pool house, to change into his swimming things in privacy.

He sat back down next to Sam, not willing to risk going into the water, where Loki was prancing about, making a display of himself. Better to talk business and keep his focus away from the water and the dripping naked sex god who cavorted within it. Avoidance proved useless, though, when Loki saw him spreading sunscreen across his chest.

"You'll need help with your back," he said casually from behind, making Thor jump in surprise. He'd managed to ignore Loki well enough that he hadn't noticed him climbing out of the water. He wasn't entirely sure how to refuse the offer without making a bigger deal than accepting it would be, so he nodded and rolled to his stomach, arms dangling at the sides of the chair.

He most certainly did _not_  expect Loki - still naked, because of course he was - to straddle him and sit down on his ass before squeezing the lotion all over his back. And he hadn't expected Loki to make quite so many hums of pleasure as he ran his hands in long passes down Thor's back, digging his fingers into the rippling muscles.

"Do you seriously expect me to just sit here and watch this?" Leo demanded.

"I'm just doing his back, darling, you don't want him burning, do you?" Loki purred.

"This? This is bullshit," Leo yelled, shoving his face tight against Loki's.

Thor wasn't sure whether it would be better to knock Loki off him and get away from the whole thing, or just freeze and pretend that he wasn't there.

"Fine, you know what? Just do what you want. And you can get another date for Joey's wedding, because you're _not_  going with me. Take Mister Suntan here, why don't you," Leo shouted before storming off.

Loki looked down at Thor. "Be at my place at three next Saturday. Wear a tux."

"What? You can't seriously expect-"

"Oh, of course I do," Loki said irritably. "It's all your fault, anyway."

"There's no point arguing, Thor. He always wins," Meg laughed. "Better go get fitted."

That broke the tension, somewhat, and with Leo gone, Loki got back in the pool. Thor swam some, once enough other people had gotten in. For the most part, though, he decided it was safest to just stay firmly planted in the deck chair. (With a heavy towel wrapped around his hips on the excuse of his trunks dripping annoyingly. Loki was still naked.)

When the party started to thin out, Thor decided it was time to make his escape, and he unfurled himself to go change. He tensed when he realized that Loki had followed him into the pool house. But Loki just said, "I need a ride."

Thor sighed and slumped against the wall. "Why me?"

"I hate cabs, and you're the only one driving the right way."

"I'm surprised you care. But I don't mean the ride, I mean..." Thor waved his arms around. "All of this. Why me?"

Loki stepped closer and hesitated. "Because I like you," he said uncertainly. "I don't like many people." His face way raw, almost afraid, as he spoke. But then, as if he regretted the brief show of vulnerability, his mask of superiority slammed down again. "Or because you want me," he purred, lips _so_  close to Thor's. "That's convenient."

Thor suspected it was both. He still didn't know why he put up with any of it. Sure, he did want Loki, but that wasn't enough. But... when Loki let his façade crack open, Thor caught glimpses of a man underneath that suspected he was beginning to not just want, but _like_.  So he shrugged. "Fine. I just need to get dressed." Loki  
didn't move away, so Thor ended up having to slide along the rough wall to get past him. "You too. I'm not driving you home naked."

Loki sighed. "Oh, Thor. You're so fun sometimes, and none at all others." But he did leave then, to put on his clothes that were still piled in a heap on one of the pool chairs. When Thor got back outside, it was just in time to see Loki's back disappearing under the dark green shirt he was pulling down.

"Ready?" Thor asked him.

His teeth glinted in a predatory smile. "Always."

Loki's eyes scanned over Thor's car as they approached it. "You're buying a new one soon?" he suggested.

Thor shrugged. "I don't see the point. This one's dependable, and the mileage is good." He waited for a snide comment about its appearance, but none came.

As they pulled out of the driveway, Loki put his hand on Thor's thigh and started to slide it upwards, but Thor clamped his hand down to stop it. "Was that a breakup fight?" he asked.

"No," Loki said, "that stuff happens all the time."

Thor lifted Loki's hand and placed it firmly on his own leg. "That stays there, then."

"See? No fun at all," Loki told him.

"That's fine."

Loki huffed and sat back in his seat, staring out the window.

"You know, some people try talking," Thor said. "What's your story?"

"You care?"

"I'm curious."

He shrugged. "There's not much to it. Parents divorced when I was six, I lived with my mom for a year until she remarried and I was sent to boarding school. Then college, and then here."

"You couldn't go live with your dad?"

"He hardly wanted a kid around when he was busy waving his cash and picking up models. It would rather get in the way, trying to bring someone home for the night and finding me there watching cartoons. He sent me presents, though."

"And you didn't get along with your stepdad?" Thor guessed.

Loki shrugged. "As much as I do with anyone. They just wanted a life I didn't fit into."

"What about summers?"

"There are companies that specialize in taking unwanted children on world tours. Did you know you can get tired of the view from the Eiffel Tower? You can."

Thor wasn't sure what to say. "Do you ever talk to them?" he asked hesitantly.

"Not since we met with the lawyers to set up my trust fund. There wasn't any point after that."

*****

When Thor arrived home, he looked at the small house with renewed appreciation. He worked hard to keep it tidy, with fresh paint and a new roof, but too many years of poverty-mandated neglect had taken their toll on the structure. He thought about how Loki had been given every advantage Thor never had, handed to him on a silver platter, and yet he never had the one thing Thor's life had been rich in. He went inside and gave his grandmother a long hug.

Thor called Joey that evening and explained what happened, making sure it was okay that he attend. Joey sighed. "I'm not surprised," he said. "At least it happened today instead of at the reception. I'll add you to the guest list and get the table charts rearranged."

"But please don't bother the caterers with last-minute changes," Thor said. "I'll be fine."

Joey's voice was rueful. "Don't worry, I ordered a couple extra plates, just in case. I told you I wasn't surprised. God knows they should have split up ages ago, but they seem to just feed on this."

"Yeah. Well... thanks. I'll see you there. Send me your registry, will you?" 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the feedback! I hope you continue to enjoy. :)

 

 

 

Thor arrived at Loki's doorstep at three on the dot, tugging awkwardly at his rented tux. Loki opened the door, wearing one that was obviously not rented. It was a slim, elegant cut that suited him beautifully. "You look great," Thor offered. "Are you ready? I'm parked right outside."

Loki cocked an eyebrow. "Your twelve-year-old car? I don't think so. We'll take mine."

They rode the elevator down to the parking garage beneath the apartment building. Thor had never seen Loki's car before. He wasn't entirely sure what he had expected Loki to drive, but the quietly understated BMW wasn't it. Thor must have looked surprised, because Loki asked, "What? I can have facets."

"I never said you couldn't," Thor answered, holding his hands up.

Loki drove confidently, and the car purred so quietly that it wasn't until Thor looked at the speedometer that he realized they were going over a hundred. Loki noticed his glance and smiled. "And that's still in fourth," he said. 

The wedding was held in one of the stately old homes outside town, and they were met at the door by an honest-to-god butler, offering them slender flutes of champagne. Loki said nothing as he took his.  "Thank you," Thor said pointedly. Loki rolled his eyes. 

The ceremony was blessedly brief, and all through the catered meal, Thor felt Leo's gaze sitting heavy upon them from across the room. Thor barely tasted his food, was barely even aware of eating it until he found his plate empty. The party moved to the ballroom then, for the cutting of the cake and then dancing. Everyone watched as Joey and  Becca  fed each other the first slices, and then the newlyweds had their first dance, the floor quickly filling with other couples swirling around as they waited for the rest of the cake to be passed out. 

Thor had taken ballroom dancing in college, but he'd always been paired with a girl, and it took a fair amount of Loki pushing at him irritably before he got the hang of dancing with someone else who was used to leading, and one who was not willing to switch. By the fifth song, though, he thought he had it down, and they glided smoothly about the room. 

They danced over to the cake table and took slices, settling down in two of the gilded chairs that lined the room to eat. Thor stiffened when Leo sat down in the empty chair next to Loki, but Loki just smirked. "I wondered how long it'd take you," he said.

"Can I have the next dance?" Leo asked. "I just want to talk."

"Fine."

Leo looked at Thor a little apologetically. "I'll bring him back," he said. Thor nodded.

After a few moments of sitting awkwardly alone, he approached a woman further down the row of chairs and offered her his hand. She smiled and took it, and soon they were sweeping about the room together.  Susanne  was an excellent dancer, and Thor got caught up in it quickly, not realizing how long they'd danced together until her date came to take her hand. He looked around and saw Leo and Loki still together, still dancing. He sat back down, feeling sour. It was one thing to be the back-up date, and quite another to be the back-up date who gets abandoned halfway through. 

The band stopped for someone to announce that Joey and  Becca  were about to leave for their honeymoon, and the party spilled outside down the steps to wave them farewell. Perhaps half the people went back inside then, and the rest either lingered outdoors, smoking or enjoying the sunset, or started to walk towards their cars. Thor found Loki and Leo, still standing together. "I need a ride," he said brusquely.

Leo at least had the grace to look shamefaced; Loki did not. "The party's just getting started," he said. "We can hardly leave now."

"You can come back. I'm ready to go."

Loki sighed, but - against all Thor's expectations - he nodded and said goodbye to Leo. Thor sank into the passenger seat and stared pointedly out the window.

"Look, Thor-" Loki started, but Thor cut him off.

"Don't, Loki. Just don't."

The rest of the drive was made in silence as thick as steel, and when they  pulled up next to Thor's car,  he  got out without a word. 

*****

When Thor's phone rang the next day, the last name he expected to see on the display was Loki's. But there it was. He held it in his hand for two more rings, trying to decide what to do. Then he swiped to dismiss the call. He deleted the voicemail unheard.

When the texts started, though, he couldn't figure out  how to delete them without seeing them. The captain of Loki's yacht was back from vacation, and Loki was inviting people out the next weekend. The first texts were sent to a long list of names. The later ones were addressed to Thor alone. He ignored them all. 

When they stopped, two weeks after the wedding,  Thor  thought Loki had given up. Until Wednesday afternoon, when he  picked up his laptop and was just heading out  of his office for a meeting when Loki came ambling down the hallway, looking for all the world as though he owned the place. With one finger against Thor's chest, he pushing him back into the office and closed the door. 

"Thor," Loki purred. "You've been avoiding me."

"I've been busy," Thor said shortly.

"How interesting that you suddenly got busy the day Leo and I made up."

Thor sighed and set down his laptop.

"I  don't want to be a part of whatever little games you've got going on, okay? Just tell me when you've made up your mind about what you want."

"Silly Thor. I want _all kinds_  of things," Loki breathed, stepping close to him.

Thor stepped back. " But  why this? Why, while you're still with Leo?" he demanded.

Loki's smile was dangerous. "I like my fun."

"I'm your fun, I take it? So why _are_  you with Leo?"

The smile went ever so slightly rigid. If Thor hadn't been watching when it happened, he would never have noticed. "I love Leo," Loki said. His voice was tense and hollow.

 "Really. You love Leo," he said, his tone rich with doubt.

"In my way, yes," Loki said. He carefully avoided Thor's eyes as he spoke.

"Do you even hear this? Do you actually believe yourself?"

When Loki didn't answer, Thor picked up his laptop. "I want you. You know that. And I'm willing to do  _almost _  anything it takes to get what I want, but I'm not going to put up with endless bullshit. I have a meeting. You can let yourself out."

*****

The rumors had been swirling from Thor’s very first day that Kaye Prescott, the COO, was planning her retirement. It was generally agreed that this would be Leo’s step from  junior to senior executive . His father had built the company, after all, and he certainly had plenty of experience behind him. So when Joe called Thor into his office, the COO position was the last thing on his mind.

“Thor, my boy, have a seat,” Joe said, slapping him on the back. 

“Thank you, sir - _Joe_ ,” he corrected himself.

“I won’t beat around the bush. I want you to throw your hat into the ring for COO.”

“But… I thought that was going to go to Leo?  I mean , everyone  expects  it.”

Joe sighed. “Leo… he’s good enough, I suppose, but he doesn’t have the fire for it, not like you and  me. Your parents must be proud of you, son.”

“My parents died when I was three, actually. My grandmother raised me.”

“Oh, that’s it. Well, I wanted you to know that I think you should go for it. It’s not my decision alone, you’ll have to convince the board, but you’ll have my support behind you.”

“Thank you. I’ll have to think about it.”

“Don’t think about it, just do it.”

*****

Meg was hosting another barbeque, and everyone was sitting around relaxing after eating almost to bursting (except Loki, who  was far too fastidious to overeat ). Ellen opened a beer with a satisfying _pop_  and held it up in toast to Leo and Thor. "To the next COO," she said. "You're both in the ring, right?"

"Oh, I couldn't go up against a friend," Leo laughed. "We'll just see how it goes."

"That's the difference between us. I've always had to fight for what I want," Thor said. He said it in a light tone of voice, as though to say _Oh, this is just casual banter, of course, nothing more_ , but his gaze seared into Loki's skin.

*****   
  
It was late in the afternoon, perhaps an hour before he would have left for the day, when Thor got a  tearful  phone call from Annie.  His grandmother had collapsed in the supermarket, she said, and he should hurry to Mercy General. She hadn't been allowed to ride along in the ambulance, and couldn't tell him anything more. He ran for the elevator and stood in the street, waving for a cab. Several passed, all full of passengers, and he was growing frantic when one finally stopped for him. He gave the address to the driver and sat back, his fingers fidgeting with the buttonholes of his jacket. 

He dropped a bill into the front seat as the cab pulled up to the hospital and told the driver to keep the change as he launched himself out of the car and ran to the information desk. “BestlaVannan ?” he gasped. 

“Room 223, sir,” the man answered after a brief wait for the computer.

“Thanks,” he said before running for the elevator. 

When he got to her room, there were noisy machines everywhere, so many cords and tubes that he could barely see her underneath them all. She looked so fragile, like a baby bird, her skin as delicate as rice paper. He sank into the chair next to her, taking her hand in his own. 

“Are you the next of kin, sir?” the nurse asked. He hadn’t even noticed her standing there when he came in.

“Yes… I’m her grandson, Thor Odinson,” he stammered. “How is she?”

“I’ll get the doctor to come talk to you,” she said. Thor didn’t know what that meant, but he didn’t see how it could be good. It wasn’t.

“Mr. Odinson,” the doctor said, taking his free hand warmly in her own. “I’m so glad someone was  able to get ahold of you. I’m Dr. Thompson. Your grandmother suffered a major cardiac incident this afternoon, and her condition is declining slowly.”

“A heart attack?” he said numbly.  It was too much, too much to take in.

“In this case, yes,” she said. 

“How slowly? If it’s slow, she might start to get better, right?”

Her face was kind and solemn. “I’m so sorry. At the current rate, we expect her to pass within two weeks. She had enough organ damage before arriving here that there is no hope of improvement.”

“Two weeks on these machines? " he asked, looking around. "She wouldn’t want that.”

“Then I’m sorry to have to ask this, but did she draw up a living will? Without her express wishes on a legal document, we are obligated to continue all efforts at life support.”

He nodded. “She did. It’s… it’s at home, in her desk. She made sure I knew right where it was.”

“Whenever you’re ready, then, if you bring that to us, we will take care to follow her directive.”

“Can I sit here a while first?”

“Yes, of course. Take as long as you need.”

She left him alone, holding her hand.  After a long silence, he spoke.

“Grandma, it’s me,” he said, his voice breaking. “I’m going to bring them your papers, like you had me promise, but… oh God, I don’t want to. You’ve always been there, and I’m so grateful, and I can’t imagine the world without you, and I never got to buy you that house…” he choked, unable to keep talking. 

He sat there for two more hours, just holding her hand, before he stood to kiss her on the forehead. He stopped by the nurse's station to leave his phone number and went downstairs to  get a cab home. He had the driver wait while he went in for the papers, and then went back to the hospital.

Dr. Thompson caught him as he walked past the nurses station.

“Mr.  Odinson. May I have a moment?” she asked, leading him to her office.

“I brought her directive,” he said, setting the folder on her desk. 

“That won’t be needed,” she said gently. “Your grandmother passed about five minutes after you left. We tried to reach you, but there was no answer.” 

He realized that his phone was still on his desk at work. The desk where he sat when he thought his grandma was ok when she was collapsing in the freezer aisle. He wasn’t there then, and he wasn’t here when she died.

“I wasn’t here,” he mumbled. 

“I’m sorry?” she asked, not hearing him.

“I should have been here when it happened,” he said angrily.

She put one hand gently on his. “Mr. Odinson, I worked in a hospice facility for ten years before I came here, and this isn’t scientific by any means, but the staff there observed that many patients, even the ones who were unconscious, seemed to time their passing for the well-being of their loved ones. Perhaps she knew how hard it would be for you to give us these papers?”

He nodded numbly. “I told her. I told her I didn’t want to.”

“Then I suspect she was trying to take care of you, one last time.”

He held on to that thought all through the mountains of paperwork that came out of nowhere. He’d never had a clue how much  _work_  death was. It took everything out of him, trying to keep going with his job - she’d been so proud of him  and his new position,  and time away  from the office, even for something like this, was frowned on in the corporate world - while dealing with all the arrangements. 

After the funeral, he threw himself into his job, then went home and watched television. Sometimes he turned it on. Sometimes he didn’t bother. He kept his phone charged, but only answered work-related calls. Texts and voicemails built up until the box refused to take any more.

Surprisingly, out of everyone he knew, it was Loki who was the first to show up in his office. And this wasn't the coolly taunting Loki he was so familiar with; he seemed genuinely concerned. "I thought it might help to talk," he said. "And as far as I know, I'm your only friend without a family, so I might understand better."

Thor had the brief impulse to point out that Loki's parents were still alive, at least, but then again, parents like Loki's hardly counted as family. He spoke hesitantly at first, about his guilt at not being there when she passed, about the fact that he didn't buy her that new house in time. About how  _alone _ he was now.

Loki sat on the edge of the desk next to Thor and took his hand. "You're not alone if you don't want to be," he said gently. He leaned over and kissed Thor on the cheek. His lips were warm and impossibly soft against Thor's skin, and he realized it was the first time in weeks that he'd actually had any human contact. Not since hugging Annie at the funeral. Loki was so near, after Thor being set apart from everyone, and when Loki moved to kiss his cheek again he turned and met his lips. They kissed lightly, Thor holding back a sob of relief from his loneliness.

And that was when Leo came in to drop off a report. "I see," he said coolly, handing Thor the slim folder. As he reached forward to take it, Leo's free hand shot forward and smashed into his nose, sending a plume of blood right onto the tie Bestla had given him last Christmas. He barely noticed Loki grabbing at Leo's arms as he pinched off the flow with one hand while with the other he daubed frantically at his tie with his handkerchief . He did notice, though, when Leo gave Loki a hard shove, hitting his leg against the  brass corner of the desk and making him gasp in pain. Thor swung, then, his fist wrapped around the bloody cloth. He felt the faint pop of skin as Leo's lip split. 

Leo wiped at the blood with the back of his hand, laughing. "Of course you want him," he said. "You want my life, you want to just come in here and take my life."

"Not for anything," Thor growled. "I _certainly_  don't want your relationship. You two make each other miserable."

"You both make me miserable," Loki snapped,  all sweetness gone as he rubbed at his leg. "I'm done wasting my time." He stormed out, limping slightly. They both watched him go, each one aware of the other's gaze.

"Are we done here?" Thor asked stiffly. 

Leo nodded. "We're done, all right." He left Thor's office, his back as rigid as a poker.

Thor glanced at the folder on his desk. He was supposed to give a presentation on the report that afternoon. It was short notice, but that was how Joe liked to work. It kept people on their toes, he said. Then Thor looked down at himself, at the blood spatters that his handkerchief had done nothing to clean. Without another thought he picked up his briefcase and took the elevator down to the parking garage.

His dry cleaner was confident that he could clean it, pleased that Thor had brought it in before the stain had a chance to set. 

He drove home intending to change into a clean shirt and tie, but once he was in the house, he couldn't face going back there. Weeks of hollow numbness had been thoroughly shattered, and he couldn't go back into the room where the sharp fragments lay waiting to cut him. So instead he sank down on his couch and called Loki. He didn't answer. Thor hadn't really expected him to. He did leave a message, thanking him a little awkwardly for his concern. He sat, watching the room slowly grow dark,  his bloody shirt  drying onto his stomach in a stiff crust.

The morning dawned only marginally better. Thor started the coffeemaker before trudging upstairs to the shower, letting the hot water ease the shirt off him. He went through his routine on autopilot, barely even aware of the traffic around him as he headed in to work. When he arrived, Joe was sitting at his desk, waiting for him.

"What the hell happened to you yesterday, son?" he demanded.

"I'm sorry, sir. I had an emergency," Thor answered. His voice felt scratchy and unfamiliar.

"That's not going to fly with the board. They're meeting this afternoon to decide on the COO position, and after Leo had to cover for you at the last minute, it doesn't look good."    


Thor nodded. "I understand." 

"I'm glad one of us does, because I sure as hell don't," Joe snapped. "If he fucks this up, I'm blaming you." 

Thor watched numbly as Joe stamped out of the room. The third person in two days to storm out of his office, a personal record. He shrugged and turned to his work.

*****

Over the next week, Thor  left Loki two more messages before giving up. He started looking through job listings in the evenings, for the first time in his life considering relocating. Leo had, indeed, gotten the COO position, and he seemed to have softened slightly towards Thor for a couple days, but then the venom of his glares suddenly redoubled. The reason became clear when he got a text from Loki.

_ Paganini's, top of the Duchesne Tower, Friday at nine _

Thor wrote back. _ I'm tired of being used to make Leo jealous _

Loki's reply was unexpected. _ I've ended it with him _

_ for good this time _

*****

It wasn't until he was actually in his car, on the way downtown, that Thor decided he was really going to meet Loki. And he certainly hadn't decided _why_  he was going to meet Loki. But... he had been genuinely  kind, when he offered his condolences and an understanding ear. That wasn't the Loki who met him at the restaurant, though. It was the mocking, aloof Loki he'd first met.

"I'm still not sure this is a good idea," Thor admitted as he slid into the understated dining chair. Loki must have placed an order for a cocktail to be delivered the moment Thor arrived, because he was barely seated before a frost-rimmed glass was set in front of him.

Loki lit up with mirth. "Oh, Thor. You've wanted me for ages," he said.

"Yes, I have," Thor admitted. "But it's not enough."

Loki shrugged. "I don’t  see why not. You've been dying for closeness. Come on. Bring your drink."

He led Thor to the glass wall with a view down at the marina. Loki pointed. "The fourth one from the end is mine," he said.

They were high enough up that the boats looked like little more than white blobs.

"I can't actually see it," Thor answered.

"No, that's all right. I just wanted you to know where I'm going to fuck you later. Up your ass, and on my yacht."

Thor frowned. "I top, actually."

Loki's lips quirked. "Really." He walked back to their table and with the lift of a finger ordered them a bottle of champagne to follow their aperitifs.

Thor sighed and followed him back to the table. Thor watched in silence as the waiter filled their flutes just so. Once he left, Thor looked pointedly at the bottle nestled in the ice bucket next to them. "Are you trying to get me drunk?" he asked dryly.

"Maybe. Or maybe I thought you would like to try Dom. I assume you've never had it before?" Loki said, raising his glass in a mocking toast.

"Not one glass," Thor agreed, refusing to take the bait. He raised his glass to Loki's and took a sip. It really was good. Maybe not worth the price tag, but definitely better than any he'd had before. He said as much to Loki, who smirked.

"And now that you've tasted it, I can finish the bottle, if you're such a lightweight," he said. Thor looked pointedly down Loki's body, so slender compared to Thor's. Loki rolled his eyes. "You know perfectly well what I mean. Even _you_ don't have that small of a vocabulary."

Thor leaned back with a quiet groan. "Are you going to be like this all through dinner?"

Loki shrugged, but he cut back his snide remarks after that. They were halfway through the second course when Thor realized he'd never even seen a menu. "Did you order for us before I got here?" he asked, a little indignant.

"Not really. I asked that we be served whatever was best today. It's what I always do  at this place, the chef is brilliant."

Thor had to admit that everything was excellent, and by dessert, a Sachertorte variation with raspberries, he agreed that Loki had done exactly right.

As he always seemed to do, Loki rose and strolled out without any sign of a bill. He had to have accounts at every restaurant and nightclub in the city, Thor thought as he stood and followed.

When the elevator door closed, Loki turned to him. "I'm going to my yacht now. You're welcome to join me." The look on his face said he already knew exactly what Thor was going to do. Thor did. 

As Loki unlocked the door, he glanced over. "You know how this is going to be, if you want me," he said. Thor swallowed hard and nodded.  It was a long time since he'd done this, but Loki was exactly right in his assurance that Thor would take what he could get. He'd wanted Loki for ages now. Since the moment he first saw him.

Loki's lips were as soft as Thor remembered, and he still tasted like chocolate and raspberries and champagne when Thor deepened the kiss and their tongues met for the first time. He gave a sigh of pleasure as his hands crept around Loki's back. He explored the smooth muscles beneath the soft shirt. He'd seen them - seen everything - but the feel was gloriously new, and even better than he had imagined. 

Breaking away, Loki took Thor's hand and led him to a small but sumptuous stateroom, passing a  galley and  bathroom on the way.  He seemed content to let Thor take the lead, then, letting Thor press him against the wall as he quickly unbuttoned the tightly cut blue shirt that set off his eyes so beautifully, followed quickly by Thor's own shirt. Thor brought one hand to the back of Loki's neck, kissing him slowly and deeply as his other hand ran up his side, taking in the taut  obliques , the delicate ribs. Loki's hands roamed over Thor's back, his fingers tracing the outlines of muscles, running down his bulging arms. 

When Loki began making soft whimpers, Thor pulled him to the bed and sat at the foot, Loki quickly straddling him with his knees on the mattress and his ass resting lightly on Thor's legs. Thor continued to explore Loki's mouth while he reached down to unbuckle his belt and open his slacks. Loki gasped the air from Thor's lungs as he slid one hand down the front of Loki's underwear, caressing the burning length within. When he had seen Loki swimming naked, he'd thought he must be a shower rather a grower, but apparently he was wrong. And  _that_ was what he would be taking. A tingle of nervousness shot through his surging arousal, but he batted it away. He wanted Loki, whatever he could have.

Thor kept stroking as Loki's fingers bit into his shoulders and his head fell back, his neck an irresistible curve that Thor sank his teeth into. He closed his eyes and savored the moan that his bite brought forth, feeling the faint vibrations through his lips. When he released the skin to press dark kisses onto it, Loki pushed on his shoulders until he laid back with Loki hovering over him. 

Loki slowly moved backwards, licking his way down Thor's torso until he reached his waistband. Loki got up, then, and quickly finished undressing Thor before taking off the rest of his own clothes more slowly, aware of Thor's heavy gaze on him. When he was bared, Thor sat up and surged forwards. He _had_ to touch him, had to slide his voracious hands over every inch of marble skin, had to memorize each sound Loki made when Thor's tongue followed his greedy fingers. 

"Come on," Loki murmured, tugging Thor to his feet and shoving the blankets back. He melted onto the dark red sheets like cream spilled in a bed of roses. Thor followed him down, bringing their lips back together, his tongue begging entry as he ran his palm down the curve of Loki's waist and up the gentle swell of his hip before  tracing forward,  following the ridge that disappeared into a thick patch of black hair. He twirled it around his fingertips, feeling strangely shy for a moment, before carefully running one finger up the underside of his cock. He smiled at the shuddering gasp it elicited, and he repeated it again, and again, before ghosting a touch over the head, running around the edge, along the delicate slit. 

Loki's hands were shaking when they reached for Thor, one running lightly along his jawline while the other wrapped carefully around his cock, working it lightly, teasingly, mirroring how Thor was now touching him. His hands were cool and his cock was searing and his kiss tasted of chocolate and Thor moaned into his mouth as he felt Loki's hands growing slick with  precome. His caresses were gentle and considerate, and Thor was half-tempted to say something, but he was too afraid Loki would brush it off, perhaps say dryly that of course his ego wouldn't let him be anything other than a skilled lover. That couldn't be all, Thor hoped desperately  -  arrogance could not account for such thoughtfulness, nor was he willing to hear it dismissed as anything lesser. So instead he simply moaned again as Loki moved up and away. 

He  leaned over Thor, reaching for the pull of the nightstand drawer, his long smooth side hovering above Thor's face, and Thor raised his head to drag his tongue along the cool skin. It made Loki's breath catch deliciously, and Thor grinned as he licked his way back up, watching how it made Loki's hands clumsy as he dug out a bottle of lube and a condom. His eyes were heavy on Thor's as he settled back and eased Thor's knee up. 

Thor inhaled sharply and it was Loki's turn to smile. It was soft, with barely a trace of his usual archness. His fingers, too, were soft and gentle as they glided down and between. They were not slick, not yet. He stroked and circled, letting Thor adjust to the unaccustomed touch while his other hand returned to Thor's cock, sending jolts of pleasure sparking through him. 

"You might try breathing every so often," Loki said, glancing at him. "It's on all the runways this season."

Thor hadn't even realized he wasn't. He inhaled deeply and let it out more slowly, feeling muscles relax that he hadn't meant to tighten. 

"See? Much better," Loki said, dropping a light kiss on his arm before reaching for the bottle tucked against his pillow. When his fingers returned they were cool and slippery.  He kept circling as he brought his mouth to Thor's, and then he slid in both his tongue and his finger, penetrating everywhere at once.

As gentle as Loki's touch was, as slicked and smooth as his fingers were, the stretch still burned. He had just eased in a third and was beginning to twist them when Thor spoke. "Just do it," he said. He wanted it done before the anticipation grew worse instead of better. Before he started to rethink things.

Loki looked up at his face, one elegant eyebrow perfectly cocked in doubt. Thor nodded. "All right, if that's what you want," Loki said, pulling himself free. "Turn over."

Thor's pulse raced as his rolled to his stomach, settling carefully as his aching cock pressed against the hot sheets. He closed his eyes and focused on relaxing as he heard the rip of the condom wrapper and the quiet sounds of unrolling latex. Then the mattress dipped and Loki's knees were settling between his own. There was a pause as he could almost feel Loki thinking, before his hips were being pulled upwards. Thor shifted up to his hands and knees, hoping that Loki wouldn't see his sudden blush. His left hip was released and then a hand was pressing down between his shoulder blades, soft but insistent. Thor sunk down to his chest, his  burning cheek pressed to the pillow. He could just picture himself, legs spread wide and everything collapsed onto the bed except his ass, raised high in expectation as his cock dribbled precome onto the bed below him. He squeezed his eyes tighter shut as he fisted the sheets.

"We don't have to," Loki said. 

Whatever Thor was expecting next, it wasn't that. He nodded. "I know." His voice was rough, like it had gone unused too long. 

There was a brief pause and then the slick sounds of more lube being spread, and then Loki's hands were back on him, pulling him further open. He gasped as Loki's cock pressed against his entrance, an easy but constant demand, until the tight ring gave and Loki was in him. There was a fraction of a second before it _hur_ _t_. "A h! God - fuck - Loki-" he gasped,  burying his face to hide his clenched jaw and pinched brows. Loki kept pressing inwards, an inch at a time, and _surely_ he hadn't been this huge in Thor's hands, so long and thick it seemed to go on forever and he was just short of screaming by the time it was fully in. 

Thor gritted his teeth, bracing himself mentally for Loki to pull back and plunge in. But he stayed still, one hand rubbing hesitantly at the small of Thor's back. "It'll ease. Just give it a minute. You took that so well," he said. His voice was as unsure as his touch, and it made Thor want to reassure him. Speech seemed impossible, although the worst of it  _was_  starting to ease, a little, so he reached between his widespread legs to stroke one slender knee. Loki's touch became more confident, then, and Thor smiled through his pain.

Another minute and agony had relaxed into burning, and a minute more even that was better. Thor nodded and Loki began to draw away , the cool air a shock on Thor's skin as they parted. The sear when he slid forward dulled more quickly this time, and by the third stroke Thor's flagging erection was stirring again, pleasure sparking even while the pain had yet togive fullyaway. Loki picked up his pace when Thor's tight-clenched fists released the bunched sheets and desperate fingers stretched out wide. 

It felt better and better, the longer it went, and Thor turned his head back to the side to pant for air, embarrassment forgotten beneath the sensory onslaught. With his little remaining ability to think, he realized that Loki was _good_ , good in a way that no one else before had been when he'd been taken like this. Loki responded so perfectly to each of Thor's movements, each pleading gasp, learning so quickly what he liked best and bringing him higher and higher, so close to the brink of pleasure until he was begging for release. 

"Almost," Loki promised, going harder now, slamming his hips into Thor with each primal thrust until he was making short moans each time he was fully buried, and he reached around to take Thor's cock in his hand and stroked it firmly, taking him finally to his peak.  They came together, Thor bucking and keening as Loki stiffened above him.

Loki collapsed next to Thor, giving himself a moment to catch his breath before he slid off the condom and dropped it in the trashcan. He settled onto his side, looking utterly peaceful as he closed his eyes and rested one arm across Thor's waist. Thor brought his hand to Loki's cheek, earning himself a contented smile. But it didn't last. He watched as the peace faded away and the mask of uncaring slipped back on to Loki's face before he stood and left the cabin. 

Thor heard running water, and figured Loki would return after he had rinsed off. But Loki didn't come back, and the bed quickly grew cold. Thor went to the bathroom and cleaned up quickly before pulling his clothes back on and going to look for Loki. He really didn't appreciate being treated like this, especially after their first time together, and he was just planning what to say when he found Loki.

He was standing on the deck, a dark bath towel tied low over his hips, his body rigid as he stared, unseeing, at the shimmering  water.

Thor's angry words were lost in uncertainty, and he went to stand next to him in silence.

"Why are you here, Thor?" Loki asked, his voice brittle.

Of the many questions he might have expected, this wasn't one of them. " Ummm ... because I like you?" he guessed, fairly sure it was true.

Loki laughed hollowly. "No one likes me. Why are you really here?"

Thor took a moment to think before answering more honestly. "Because I'm curious to learn why it is you're so determined to make people dislike you."

"Isn't it obvious? If I make them reject me, it's not as bad when they leave. And they _do_ always leave. Leo was the only one who didn't, and now I've left him. And I have you to blame for that, as well. "

"So why tell me this now?"

"To make you feel worse when you're the one who leaves. Call it my revenge." Loki's voice was taking on a more flippant tone, as if to show how little it mattered. 

"You know, Loki..." Thor sighed. "I feel like I keep getting little glimpses of the real you underneath this shell, and... I think it's someone I might like. A lot. Do you think you - he - could give me a chance?"

"Oh, so you can reject the  _w eal_ me under the  _bwittle shell _ ?" Loki mocked. "That hardly sounds like an improvement ."

"What if... how about we just try it for a week. We'll go away for a week, somewhere we don't know anyone, and just try it. We'll both let our guard down, and be together, and see how it goes. And we'll agree, right from the start, that there's no commitment, no  one leaving anyone.  Just an ending."

Loki didn't answer. Thor waited, watched, for some response, but there was nothing. "Fine," Thor said, turning to go find his shoes. "Forget it."

"Inverness," Loki said suddenly. "We'll go to Inverness."

Thor smiled. "I've never been to Scotland."

After a moment, Loki smiled back. It was unsure, but it looked like he meant it. "You'll like it," he said.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, everyone! I hope you enjoy their trip to Inverness.

Thor managed to find a last-minute flight to London on Sunday with a connection to Inverness and, biting the bullet and reminding himself that he was now very handsomely paid, bought them first-class seats. He sent Loki a text. _Meet me at JFK, tomorrow at 4 pm_  

  _Tomorrow? That's not much time to pack_  was Loki's quick reply.

 _Not much time to change your mind, either ;_ )

The wait for this answer was longer. _I'll be there_

Thor smiled at his phone and started looking for hotels, unsure what Loki would like. He finally settled on a converted country estate on the edge of town, chosen largely for the fact that it had a suite available. He could offer to sleep on the couch, to keep things low-key. Though he hoped Loki wouldn't accept the offer.

When they met at the airport, Loki looked every bit as nervous as Thor felt. "I'm still not sure this is a good idea," he said.

"Well, it's my idea, so you can blame me for any problems," Thor told him.

"Oh, don't worry. I will."

They made their way through security, Thor trying frantically to come up with a casual topic of conversation.

"So, why Inverness?" he finally asked.

"I went there once before, by myself. It's... quiet. I felt peaceful there. So don't ruin it for me," he added, glaring at Thor.

"I'll do my best," Thor said. "But you have to, too."

Loki's jaw tightened, but he nodded his agreement. "I know."

Before their flight even took off, Loki was digging through his carryon for Benadryl. "If we go to sleep now, we'll pretty much be on UK time when we land," he explained, holding them out to Thor.

It seemed like kind of a waste to buy a first-class seat and then sleep through the flight, but he decided that avoiding jetlag was worth it, and they barely stayed awake long enough to watch the ground slip away. The flight attendant woke them before landing with enough time to have coffee and pastries. The layover at Gatwick was just right to make their connection with neither stress nor boredom, and by early afternoon they were checking in to their hotel.

The room was even more luxurious than it had looked on the website, and Thor wandered around taking it all in as the bellhop deposited their luggage inside the door, Thor returning just in time to press a tip into his hand. From the look on his face, Thor thought that perhaps he should have read about normal gratuities in the UK, but he could afford it, and he'd certainly made the man happy. 

Loki wasted no time opening his suitcases and spreading their contents across the huge bed, setting aside one pile to be sent for ironing and hanging up the rest. Thor unpacked much more quickly, leaving most of the space - closet, bathroom - for Loki to sprawl out. And then Loki was done too, and they stared at each other, unsure.

"So, what kinds of things do we do here?" Thor asked.

Loki shrugged. "There's a few things to tour, but mostly, we just... enjoy being here, I guess. It's nice."

"Do you want to go for a walk?" 

"Yeah. Do you have the map? There's a path along the river, I just don't know how to get there from here," Loki said.

Thor unearthed it from the stack of flyers he'd left piled on the desk. They pored over it a moment, long blond hair nestling with black as they leaned over the table where Thor spread it out, agreeing on the best route to get there. 

It took perhaps ten minutes the meandering half-country roads before they found a narrow drop to scramble down to the dirt path running beside the water. Walking along, listening to the cheerful birdsong, Thor slid his hand into Loki's, watching the thick black lashes drop as he looked down to where they touched. But he said nothing, and Thor tightened his grasp ever so slightly. He wasn't sure, but he was thought there was the ghost of a smile across Loki's face as he did it. 

The river was beautiful, the clear water babbling gently as it tumbled down a thousand and one tiny jumps, the arching trees providing a cool screen against the warm sunshine that dappled down around them. The cars rumbling along the road beside them seemed a million miles away, as though they were in another world completely from this tiny, perfectly contained one which Thor and Loki alone inhabited. 

At a bend, the side of the path gave way to a red brick wall, showing how the ground had been built up to allow the road to take a tight curve. At the top of the wall was a thicket of black raspberries, their canes spilling down across the brick above them, the ripe fruit glistening temptingly.

Without a word, Thor hoisted Loki up and onto his shoulder, moving close enough for him to pick at the berries no one else had been able to reach. Loki gave a quick bark of surprise before he felt himself stabilize, and he began to tug at the fruit, taking only the drippingly ripe ones that were ready to release themselves. He alternated between eating them himself and reaching down to feed them to Thor, his slender fingers lithe against Thor's lips each time he took one. When they had sated themselves, Thor eased Loki back to his feet.

They continued to walk silently, and Loki's face grew relaxed and peaceful, more peaceful than Thor had ever seen him before. Back in town, eating dinner, he grew slightly more guarded. But only slightly. And when they returned to their room, and Thor offered to sleep on the sofa, Loki's face was soft as he said _no_.

Loki's mouth was soft upon him, too, every bit as soft as his cock was hard when it finally, _finally_ , drove into Thor, the sensation still unfamiliar but already growing welcome. "Loki," Thor gasped, "you're-"

But Loki cut him off. "Don't, Thor," he whispered. "It's easier if you don't." After that, Thor limited his sounds to moans and sighs of pleasure, hoping that the glide of his hands across Loki's skin would convey all he had been forbidden to speak. 

*****

"Let's go to the castle today," Loki said over breakfast. 

"That sounds fun. I'll run upstairs and get the map when we're done."

"You really didn't notice yesterday?" Loki laughed, but it was friendly, not his usual mocking tone. It was quite lovely, Thor realized. He'd have to make Loki laugh more. As much as he could. 

"Notice what?"

"It's a castle on top of a hill in the middle of town. We don't need a map, we just go outside and look up."

"Oh. I guess I was looking somewhere else yesterday." Was that a _blush_  tinting Loki's cheeks? It was. And it was utterly delightful. Thor reached across the table to rest his hand on Loki's. "I really like your laugh," he said. The blush deepened as Loki fidgeted, shifting in his chair to look out the window. 

"Come on," Thor teased. "Don't tell me _you're_  not used to compliments."

Loki shrugged. "Not so much to people meaning them."

"That's impossible," Thor said. "You're-" he waved his hand up and down, gesturing at Loki.

He shrugged again. "It's mostly when they want something from me. Money or sex. People don't say things to me to be nice."

"I'm not saying it to be nice, I'm saying it because it's true."

"Well, it's nice anyway." Loki smiled hesitantly.

The castle tour was silly in the best way possible, with their guide dressed up in medieval clothes and treating them like they were visiting nobility. They kept catching each other's eyes and suppressing their laughter. The tour went all through the castle, ending in the large dressing chamber. A series of heavy wooden wardrobes lined the walls, full of costumes like the guides for people to dress up and have their pictures taken, and they spent over an hour daring each other to don more and more ridiculous clothes. Each time one of them popped out from the small changing room the other buckled over in merriment.

"I think we have to go back to the hotel and copy these onto my laptop if we're going to take any more pictures today," Loki said as they finally left the castle.

"Okay," Thor agreed easily, catching Loki's hand as they walked.

There was one problem with the way they had found the castle: their hotel couldn't really be found the same way, and Thor hadn't, in the end, brought the map. After an hour of wandering, they stopped for lunch, sitting outside to eat and enjoy the clear air.

"I like this," Loki said. "Let's just stay here a while."

"That sounds good. It's beautiful out today."

They ordered (well, Loki ordered, Thor had no idea what to get) a bottle of wine and spent the afternoon people watching. The air began to chill at sunset. "I know how to find the train station," Loki said. "Let's just go there and get a taxi."

"I thought you hated taxis?" Thor said.

"Oh. Yeah, that. No, they're fine." He sounded more than a little embarrassed to be de facto admitting that he'd once asked Thor for a ride in order to have his company.

Thor was tempted to tease, but decided it was better to let it go. Loki was making an honest effort to keep to their agreement, and Thor suspected he was not accustomed to friendly teasing. Loki didn't mind when Thor teased him that night, though, all strong hands and burning lips. No, he didn't mind that at all.

*****

 Loki looked up from the desk chair as Thor opened the bathroom door, steam billowing out around him. "There's a limo coming at ten to take us to watch dolphins. I ordered us a picnic lunch," he said.

Thor frowned. "You didn't ask me."

"You don't want to go watch dolphins? That seemed like something you'd enjoy."

"I do. I would. But I like to be asked, too," he said.

Loki looked uneasy, twirling the pen in his fingers. "Oh. Umm..."

"Hey, don't worry about it." Thor moved behind him and squeezed his shoulders, rubbing the sudden tension out of his neck with firm thumbs. "Just, next time, maybe we can discuss our plans?"

"Okay. Would you like to take a cruise down the river to see Loch Ness on Friday?"

 "That sounds great," Thor said. He planted a light kiss on top of the still-damp head.

"Good. I already got the tickets."

By the time Loki had finished doing his hair Thor was dressed and ready to go. It meant he got to sprawl out across their bed and watch Loki slip out of the heavy bathrobe before standing in front of the closet to decide what to wear. He took long enough that if the view hadn't been _quite_  so entrancing Thor might have gotten frustrated by the delay. But Loki finally nodded to himself and pulled out a t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

It was by far the most casually Thor had ever seen Loki dressed, though the black jeans looked as expensive as they did buttery-soft, and the dark green shirt looked like it had been made for him. He noticed Thor watching him. "What?" he asked, sounding defensive.

"You look nice," Thor said simply. "That's all."

Loki gave him _that_  smile again, the one that was hesitant but honest, his eyes on the floor. Thor hoped that by the end of the week, the hesitation would be lost, and Loki would relax enough for his smiles to be undiluted. But this was a good start, so Thor smiled back at him warmly. Loki twisted his fingers and turned away. "The car will be here soon. We should go collect our hamper from the kitchen."

"We have an actual picnic hamper?"

"Well, yeah. How else do you picnic?"

"I don't know. I just throw some sandwiches in a backpack, I guess."

Loki appeared to be on the verge of saying something snide, but caught himself just in time. "Oh," he said instead.

"C'mon, let's go see what this hamper looks like." Thor casually caught Loki's hand in his own as they walked down the stairs. "I think this is going to be fun. I've never seen dolphins in the wild before." Loki looked at the ground, his face shy but pleased.

The hamper turned out to be a massive one, wicker trimmed with dark blue and silver ribbons, the same colors as their suite, and Thor wondered if all the rooms were decorated alike, or if they had special hampers for each room. It held a small cooler with bottles of champagne and sparkling water and assorted little tubs. Outside the cooler was a bag of soft rolls, a huge tub of strawberries, cutlery and napkins. On top of the food was a thick blanket to sit on, and two sets of binoculars were nestled carefully in the warm cloth. The desk attendant apologized that all the bellhops were busy, but promised that one should be back soon to carry it out to the car for them. Thor told her not to worry, hiding his smile at the weight of Loki's eyes on his arms as he lifted the bulky hamper.

The limo was waiting when they got outside, and the driver hopped up to open first the trunk and then the doors for them. They periodically broke the quiet of their ride as they pointed out scenery along the way, valleys so green they didn't look real, fairytale stone cottages, shaggy cows that made Thor laugh every time he saw them.

The drive was about half an hour, and they stopped at the top of a cliff at the edge of the sea. They picked a spot where the grass looked extra lush, so much so that they could feel its spring though the blanket when they sat down. Thor tangled his fingers between Loki's as they watched and waited. It wasn't long before Loki gasped and pointed. Two silver dolphins were jumping in the water, sleek and playful. They hastily raised the binoculars to see better, and watched, entranced, until the graceful creatures were out of sight. More soon came, though, and the morning passed quickly, full of laughter as they shared the dolphins' open joy.

By midday there were few, though, and Loki sat up to dig into the hamper. "Do you want lunch?" he asked.

"Sure," Thor said, vaguely surprised that Loki wasn't waiting for him to take care of it. But Loki efficiently pulled out all the various tubs and popped them open to reveal salads, sliced cheeses and meats, and an entire selection of mustards. They opened the sparkling water and ate the salads before pulling apart the rolls to make messy but delicious sandwiches.

They waited a while for dessert, hoping to see more dolphins, but none came, and when Loki opened the strawberries and champagne Thor was ready for them. He was even more ready when Loki held out a plump berry to his lips. Thor took it, licking a finger as he did. Loki smiled and opened his mouth pointedly. When Thor popped a strawberry inside, Loki grabbed onto his fingertips and sucked them before letting go. 

Thor leaned forward and kissed him, Loki meeting it with a soft sound of pleasure. Dessert ended up taking two hours, slow kisses mingling with sips of champagne and juicy berries, each one sweeter than the last, until finally there were only kisses under a velvet sky.

Loki finally moved away and stretched out on his stomach to watch the water again, and Thor matched him. When it seemed there really wouldn't be any more dolphins, Thor rolled to his side to look at Loki. "Tell me about yourself."

"What do you want to know?"

"Anything. What did you study in college?" he asked.

"Liberal arts."

"No, I mean your major?"

"Oh. These guys, actually. Marine biology," Loki said, tilted his head towards the sea.

"Did you ever think about working in it?"

Loki rolled his eyes over to Thor. "I never thought about working at _all_. But I liked learning about it."

Thor nodded. "Fair enough." Loki grinned wryly. "What?" Thor asked.

"Leo hated that. He was so jealous that I was never expected to work. He hates being new money."

"Oh. I just like not having to worry about money. That's still pretty new."

"I can't even imagine what that's like. My worries have always been about... other things." Loki looked back out over the glassy sea.

Thor wasn't sure if a gesture of affection would be welcomed or resented, so he reached out and instead of taking Loki's hand, he rested his own next to it, just barely touching. After a moment, Loki lifted his pinky finger and placed it onto Thor's.

In bed that night, Loki's hands were impossibly gentle, his caresses no heavier than whispers. Even when he pressed himself inside, his motions were so smooth and fluid that Thor found himself drowning in lust, his climax not a peak to soar to, but waiting for him at the bottom of the sea. It felt closer than he was ready for. Dangerous. He struggled against it, but Loki won, as he always did, a Näkki pulling him at last into the depths.

And the next morning, when Loki went to shower first as he always did, he silently stood in the open doorway, the slight tilt of his head welcoming Thor inside. He looked inhumanly beautiful as the water cascaded down his pale skin. After they had soaped every inch of each other's hungry bodies, Thor claimed Loki's mouth as he reached down to grasp his cock more firmly, stroking it from arousal into desperation. He could feel Loki's heart thudding against him.

Just as Loki began to pant into his mouth, though, he made a quiet sound of discomfort and broke away from Thor's lips. He turned around and Thor briefly thought he was going to be welcomed inside, but Loki quickly smeared conditioner between his thighs and reached back to fit Thor's cock between them. They were the same height, but Loki's legs were longer, and they fit together perfectly like this.

Loki's head fell back onto Thor's shoulder, his face turned towards the wall, as Thor took his cock again and continued where he had been interrupted. Loki had still only taken him from behind, and what he had thought was a physical preference he was rapidly beginning to suspect was a means of avoiding them looking at each other, of Loki hiding his face when he was at his most vulnerable. This was hardly the moment to discuss it, though, not with his hand wrapped around Loki's throbbing length and his own squeezed between the slick tension in Loki's legs.

He ran his mouth all along Loki's shoulder and up the long stretch of his neck, licking, soft bites giving way to softer kisses as he moved his hand and hips in unison. He watched Loki's jaw fall open as he began to pant again, and he felt the pulse racing beneath his lips. And even though this wasn't what he really wanted, he couldn't suppress his quiet moans that were sparked when Loki started to move with him, taking both Thor and himself higher and higher with each tense thrust and pull of his hips. "Oh yes, Loki, _fuck_ ," he gasped into the sparkling wet skin, and Loki squeezed his thighs tighter, moved harder against him, and he came with a muffled cry just seconds before Loki sagged in his arms and followed him to the heights.

They had just finished washing off again when the hot water finally gave out. Loki jumped out of the shower with a yelp, leaving Thor to stand in the icy stream to reach for the annoyingly foreign handle. "Sorry. Instinct," Loki said when Thor emerged, shivering. It looked like he meant it, too, especially when he threw a heavy towel around Thor's shoulders and started rubbing the warmth back into his chilly skin.

"Not the first time I've had a cold shower because of you," Thor said wryly, feeling a surge of pleasure at the shy smile Loki cast at the floor. _One day_ , Thor silently promised, _You'll look at me when you smile_.

They spent the day walking around town hand in hand, stopping occasionally to point out an old building or an unfamiliar bird. Lunch was eaten perched on the rocks next to the river, watching the fish leaping out to snap at insects. A squirrel scolded them, throwing young acorns at their heads. "I see why you like it here," Thor said as they watched the sunset cast its brilliant colors across the castle. Loki nodded silently.

Thor had planned to tell Loki that he wanted to face him that night, but after such a perfect day, he was loathe to risk ruining it when they fell into bed. So when Loki told him to turn over, as he always did, Thor obeyed, as _he_  always did.

The cruise to Loch Ness the next day was breathtaking. The river wound through dense forests before bursting into lush valleys surrounded by craggy peaks before diving back into the trees. They passed a distillery, and the sweet malt was heavy in the air as they went close by, faint traces of peat smoke trailing after them like memories.

The river slowed and broadened, and then their boat was in the lake, ringed by tiny towns, their placement marked by gray stone spires. "The story of the monster goes back to the sixth century," Loki told him. "There's a legend of it obeying a saint."

"And do you believe in it, Mister Marine Biologist?" Thor teased, wrapping an arm around Loki's waist.

"I don't believe in anything," Loki answered. His voice was light, though, almost as teasing as Thor's, and Thor kissed his cheek sloppily, making Loki laugh and wipe at it with the back of his hand.

The monster didn't make any appearances, but they did see a deer coming down for a drink, and several moodily beautiful swans. Loki took several pictures of them. "Kindred spirits," he explained when Thor smiled at the sound of his shutter flickering rapidly.

By the time the boat turned back up the river, the sun was setting over the western peaks, its brilliant red reflecting off the calm waters. Loki stood at the back of the boat, watching as the lake slowly disappeared around a wide bend. Thor rested his hand on the rail next to Loki's, just barely touching. "I liked this," he said gently. "It was a good idea."

Loki smiled sadly as he rested a finger across Thor's. "It's our last full day here," he said.

"I know. We've got most of tomorrow, though."

Loki nodded.

The night had held on to the day's warmth, so they decided to walk back to their hotel from the dock. They went slowly, neither one wanting it to be over. The sky was a vast net of radiant stars, shimmering promises to the world below. Thor wished he could echo them, but he knew by now that it would be unwelcome, so when he spoke, it was simply to tell Loki that he was right. "I do like it here," he said, rubbing his thumb gently against the back of Loki's hand.

*****

Saturday morning they packed their luggage and left it just inside the door for the bellhop to collect. Their flight back to London didn’t leave until seven. By silent agreement, they ended their time there as it had begun, with a walk along the quiet river path. More berries had ripened, and Thor again lifted Loki to his shoulder to collect them. Loki's face was drawn as they turned back towards their hotel to get their things and take the limo to the airport. Thor squeezed his hand and gave him a smile when he looked over.

The flight to London was short, not much over an hour, but Loki somehow fell asleep despite the harsh roar of the engine and the cramped leg space of the small jet. Thor didn't realize he was sleeping until his head slumped onto Thor's shoulder. His lips fell slightly open and his thick black lashes dusted over his cheeks, and he looked so delicate Thor wanted to gather him up in his arms and protect him from the world. If only he could.

There wasn't really time to go into London for the evening, so Thor had reserved a suite at a hotel near the airport, as modern and streamlined as the Inverness hotel had been plush and antique. They ordered room service and curled together on the stark white loveseat, Loki's head in Thor's lap as they waited. Loki chatted freely enough, but his eyes looked haunted as Thor stroked his hair.

When they finished eating, Loki led Thor into the bedroom. Their clothes melted away as they kissed and moved together, Loki carefully preparing him as he had always insisted on doing after their first time together. He moved behind Thor, bringing his cock into place, but rather than the constant pressure that Thor expected, Loki leaned forward to rest a cool hand against his burning cheek.

"Why does this humiliate you so?" Loki asked softly.

Thor shook his head. "I'm not sure I know. Partly that it's so impersonal. You could be anyone."

"I thought you might want that." Loki's voice was low with apprehension.

"I don't. I'm with you because it's where I want to be."

Loki was silent long enough that Thor thought he'd ruined everything. But when Loki finally spoke, it was a question rather than a refusal. "You want to face each other?"

"I would like that. If you would."

Loki paused another long moment before he shifted away, freeing Thor's legs to roll to his back. "Okay," he said.

Thor shifted to his side and pressed Loki gently down to the bed. Loki hesitated before sinking back, his skin glowing against the crisp white sheets and his inky locks spread across the pillow. His cock jutted upwards, red and proud, the color barely dimmed by the latex that stretched over it. He closed his eyes as Thor straddled him and sank slowly, one hand holding Loki's cock and the other pressed against the pillow to control his speed.

When he was fully down he stayed still a moment, adjusting to the thickness that was stretching him so deliciously. Even now, Loki's face was wary, as though he was yet unsure whether or not to trust Thor's words. More than anything, Thor wanted to make Loki forget his hesitance and lose himself in shared delights. "Look at me?" he asked softly, stroking the pale cheek before resting forward on his palms.

Loki opened his eyes reluctantly. Their color was hypnotic, and Thor felt drugged as he rose up. He moved slowly, rhythmically, adjusting to the starkly different sensation of being filled from this new angle. It felt easier, the very pull of the earth urging them together, and he began to let go of his control as Loki's hands took his hips, encouraging him towards greater speed, greater intensity.

He sat up and leaned back, the shift pressing Loki deeper in. The thick head of his cock dragged deliciously over the tangle of nerves within and sent a gasp rippling through his spine. The next time he sank down, he curled his hips forward as he moved, moaning less at the stars that burst in his vision than at the piercing green eyes that burned through them. His movements grew sharper, staccato lifts paired with harsh thrusts downward, his ragged panting matched by Loki's own rough breaths.

The tension that twisted within his belly convulsed, growing tighter and threatening to explode. Thor pressed his hands over Loki's, swirling over the slim fingers that bit into his skin. "Move me how you like," he said, feeling a surge of desperation to finally, finally see Loki as he climaxed, to know what that beautiful face looked like as he gave way to the throes.

Loki grabbed harder and pulled Thor down as he for the first time rose up to meet him, fucking now instead of being fucked, showing the pace he wanted before relaxing his grip and taking hold of Thor's cock, making him gasp in shock at the sudden wave of intensity it brought.

" _God_ , Loki, you feel incredible," Thor panted. "So good... I'm so close..."

Loki's hand on his cock worked perfectly in time with his own motions, sliding upwards, gasping each time at the dizzying drag of the head of Loki's cock over the cluster of nerves that made him see stars, moaning each time he drove himself back down, harder and harder, making Loki moan in turn, his dark lashes falling closed. He looked down and groaned at the sight of the long slender fingers wrapped around him, each stroke taking him higher and higher as the burning tightness deep in his belly grew more tense and demanding, and he moved harder, frantically, desperately.

And then Loki brought his free hand to his mouth and slid one finger inside, sucking at it blissfully, and green eyes slid open to meet Thor's as he dragged the wet fingertip across one of his own shell-pale nipples as his fist spasmed tighter. The sight and squeeze pushed Thor over the edge and he came with a noise he didn't know he could make, spilling across Loki's hand and stomach as everything shattered into a thousand falling crystals. He felt forward, his chest pressed against Loki's, feeling his cum smearing between them as he spasmed helplessly.

Loki grabbed his hips again and thrust upwards frantically, hard and demanding, chasing his own climax quickly to avoid irritating newly over-sensitive nerves. Thor felt himself squeezing down with each wave of pleasure that washed over him, and then Loki was crying out, his body frozen in the midst of a deep plunge as his fingers bit into Thor's skin. His face was raw and open and honest, and Thor wanted to look at it forever. When he finally collapsed down with a sigh, Thor moved carefully off, taking care of the condom as it tried to slide off with him.

Thor curled against his side, cupping one hand against a soft cheek. "I liked that," he said. "I liked watching your face."

Loki didn't answer, but his smile was as fragile as Thor had ever seen it, so he didn't push. He just pressed his lips against Loki's shoulder and kissed him, gently, over and over.

In the morning, Thor woke a few minutes before the alarm was set to go off. He silenced it and looked over at Loki. He was sleeping curled on his side, his back to Thor. Thor moved closer and began to work his way down, dusting light kisses on each too-prominent vertebra. On the third one, Loki woke with a pleased wiggle.

"It's time to get up. I thought you'd like this better than the clock," Thor said.

"I do," Loki mumbled, snuggling deeper into the blankets.

Thor laughed. "I think you missed the 'time to get up' part of that."

"Mmmmf."

"Do I have to carry you to the shower?" Thor teased.

"Probably."

"Okay, then," Thor said, scooping him up before he had the chance to take it back. The long, whipcord muscles meant he was heavier than he looked, but he was easy enough to carry that Thor just laughed again when Loki grabbed frantically at his shoulders. "Don't worry, I've got you," he told him.

It was exactly what he said again as Loki sagged against him in the shower, their hands on each other's cocks, luring forth one last shared climax. Loki sobbed his pleasure into Thor's shoulder as Thor groaned above him, hot bolts of white coating each other before the water slowly rinsed it away. Loki held on until Thor gently said they needed to get out and dress if they were to make their plane. He nodded then, and turned away.

The flight home was much too quick. They held hands and talked the whole way back, heads bent together, their voices no more than a private murmur.  

"Well, thanks," Loki said awkwardly as they waited in line at the taxi stand.

"Thank _you_ ," Thor said. "I had a wonderful time, really."

The cabbie took Loki's things and loaded them into the trunk. Thor caught Loki's arm to pull him in for a kiss, but Loki shook his head _no_. "It's four-oh-two," he said sadly, holding up his wrist to show Thor his watch. "The week is over."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At last, the final chapter! I had this mostly finished several days ago but there were a couple paragraphs I had to wrestle with.

Thor raced through work Monday, barely able to focus. He finally gave up and left early, driving fast through the not-yet-rush-hour traffic, to Loki's building. As he rode up the elevator he rehearsed what he wanted to say. When he rang the bell and Loki answered the door, though, everything fled his mind.

"Oh, _God_." Loki sighed. "I suppose you're here for something sentimental? Sorry to break it to you, but last week didn't mean anything besides some fun."

But the sneer in his voice lacked conviction, and they both could tell. "It did to me," Thor said simply. "And I'm here to ask for another week, this one at home."

Loki rolled his eyes. "Starting when?"

"Today?" Thor asked hopefully.

It got him a glare. "Next week."

"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow, but we don't have to see anyone I know."

"Deal." Thor grinned. He turned towards the elevator.

"And if you promise not to be all clingy, you can stay for dinner," Loki said, his voice sounding pointedly bored.

"No," Thor said, looking back. "I don't think I will. I prefer you when you're really being you."

******

Thor wasn't able to take another last-minute-request week off of work, but he made up for it as much as he could when they were together. They spent their evenings in Thor's favorite places in his own neighborhood, places that Loki's friends wouldn't be caught dead in. Mom-and-Pop southern Italian joints, the red sauce so rich it made their heads spin; working-class bars where Loki's expensive clothes got him more than one double-take, but no hassling; and one giddy evening drinking wine out of water bottles and kissing on the jungle gym in Thor's favorite childhood park. They spent their nights at Thor's house, long limbs gliding together, backs arching, lips gasping.

The week ended while Thor was at work, stuck in a meeting that ran long. He kept his face turned towards the presentation, but his eyes were on the clock as it counted down. Ten minutes left, and this joker wasn't halfway through. _Shit._  He wouldn't be able to call, let alone see Loki, before the time ran out. The moment the meeting ended, he dashed back to his office and snatched the phone from his desk.

Loki didn't answer. A mere second later, though, he sent a text. _Too late._

Thor felt like crumpling the phone in his fist. Was it really necessary to go back to this the moment the promised week ended? Had Loki really not caught on to the fact that Thor genuinely liked him? It slowly dawned on him that no, maybe Loki _didn't_  realize it. Not really. He thought about the treatment Loki had accepted from Leo, how he'd been effective abandoned by both his parents. No. Loki had no basis of comparison. He picked up his phone and called Joey.

He picked up on the first ring. "Hi, Thor!"

"Hi, Joey. Did you have a good honeymoon? Costa Rica, right?"

"Yup. It was fantastic, but way too short. But we saw monkeys and a volcano, which were our top priorities for sightseeing."

"That sounds awesome. Are you free to grab lunch tomorrow?"

"Sure. Rinaldi's at noon?"

"Perfect."

*****

When Thor got to Rinaldi's, Joey was waiting by the door, and they got in line together. They got their sandwiches and drinks, and after a stop at the pickle barrel, grabbed a table. "So. Spill the beans," Joey said.

"That's kind of what I was hoping you'd do, actually. I've been seeing Loki recently, and it's been... good, but hard. I thought maybe you could fill me in on him some more. He doesn't talk much about himself, and I don't like to push. You've known him a lot longer, though."

Joey gave a low whistle. "You've got your job cut out for you, man."

"Don't I know it."

"Okay. Well, what I know about him... not a whole lot, really. He didn't see his dad after his parents divorced, and once his mom remarried he got dumped at boarding school."

Thor nodded. "He said he spent his summers on world tours for kids."

"Try _tour_. They sent him on the same one every year because it was easier than looking at the list."

"Fuck."

"Yeah. This isn't an official diagnosis or anything, but I think he has some sort of social disorder. He hides it pretty well but there's a few giveaways. I've never heard him say a word about friends from school or college. And it's nearly impossible for him to trust people. He and Leo were together for almost three years before he'd stay the night with him." 

"Wow," Thor said, thinking about that night on the deck of Loki's yacht. The long pause before he'd said _Inverness._  How much courage had it taken for him to say the word? And he'd let Thor spend the night, after. It made him feel both saddened and honored.

"Uh-huh. So, if you're not serious... just have the kindness to let him go sooner rather than later. Okay?"

"Thanks, Joey. This helps a lot. Now, tell me about Costa Rica?"

*****

Thor had really enjoyed his two weeks with Loki, but Joey had given him a lot to think about. He wasn't entirely sure if he was up to taking on a _project_ , which was definitely what Loki would be. He did genuinely like him, but he also knew that liking was not enough for a relationship. There had to be understanding and acceptance. It would take a lot of work before Loki could begin to understand how fully Thor accepted him.

Three days he wrestled with himself. The fourth, he made up his mind. And the fifth found him on Loki's doorstep once again.

When Loki saw who was waiting, he shrugged dismissively and threw the door open to let Thor inside. Thor sat on the couch. Loki pointedly sat in a chair.

"Can I have a month?" Thor asked.

"Why now?"

"What?"

"Well, last time you were at my door the next day. What took so long this time?"

"I just needed some time to think."

"Oh, I see. To think about how many days you can go without getting laid?"

Thor sighed and leaned back in the plush cushions. "No. I needed to think about whether this was worth it."

"How flattering."

"No, I suppose it isn't. But it's true. Because I like you, a lot, and I think it's going to be a lot of work to get you to believe that. I had to think about whether or not I was up to the challenge."

"And you've decided that you are." Loki arched a disbelieving eyebrow. He really made being an asshole look so fucking hot. But Thor's mind flashed to other images, memories: of Loki grinning as he pulled a medieval tunic over his clothes, the peaceful look on his face as they walked along a riverside path, his easy laughter as they swung drunkenly from the monkey bars. Those memories were even hotter, and they were worth fighting for.

"I am. So I'm here to ask for a month. But no conditions, this time. And I want it to start now."

Loki scowled.

 _No_ \- not quite. There was the faintest twitch of his jaw that said he was biting nervously at the inside of his cheek and trying to hide it beneath a scowl. Thor wondered how often this happened when he had not noticed, never seen before.

"It's okay," he said more gently. "You can tell me tomorrow. But I don't want to hide from our friends."

Loki didn't answer. He sat, staring out the window. Thor stood and planted a soft kiss on the crown of his head. "I'll let myself out," he said.

The next afternoon, just as he was packing up his briefcase, Thor got a text.

_One February-worth. Today until September 16_

He wrote back. _This is a leap year. Today until the 17th?_

 _Don't push it_  came the reply. Thor grinned and grabbed his car keys.

*****

They skipped the larger social events, as Loki didn't want to risk running into Leo, and Thor wasn't about to argue. They saw friends in smaller settings, though, and while no one said anything to Loki, Thor watched the pleasure on their faces as he tried to tone down the acidity of his tongue and turn his wit to other uses. "I don't know what kind of magic you did," Julia told Thor one evening as Loki was in the restroom washing up from his particularly messy dinner, "but keep it up. He's actually being sweet, and he really looks happy."

"He makes me happy, too," Thor smiled.

*****

Near the end of their month, Loki invited Thor to spend the night in his apartment. Thor didn't realize how significant this was until he saw Loki's bedroom. The decorations were an homage to a lost happy childhood. The walls were covered with old family photos of Loki as a small boy, posing with one or both of his parents, and on the dresser sat more than one well-loved plush animal. It meant he had to close his eyes as they had sex; the photo of a four-year-old Loki smiling toothily at him while the adult Loki moved deep within him was just too much. It was worth it, though, to be invited into the place that he clearly viewed as a safe retreat from the world. If Thor's eyes welled up a little the next morning when he noticed that there was, hanging on the far wall, a photo of the two of them dressed up together at the castle, well, Loki was still asleep, and didn't see it.

And when Thor showed up on Loki's doorstep the morning of the 17th, holding out a latte and one of Loki's favorite almond croissants and asking for a year, Loki was barely a dick at all.

*****

"I was thinking, Loki..." They were twined in bed, their skin slowly cooling from the heat of their coupling. Loki's breath still smelled of sweetness and almonds.

"Novelty," Loki murmured. But his voice was teasing, rather than mocking, so Thor let it go with a wet lick to his cheek. "Barbarian," Loki said, wiping at his face with the sheet. "Go on."

"We've got a year. Why don't we go get tested and get rid of those?" Thor asked, tilting his head towards the condom box.

Loki's face froze as he asked, almost hesitant, "You want to go bare?"

"I would." Thor pulled him tight, savoring the feel of Loki's flushed skin. It made him ache, the way Loki was still so reluctant to trust any overtures towards closeness. "I'd like to have nothing between us."

Loki's rigid muscles slowly relaxed, but it was still a long time before he answered. "Okay," he said softly.

*****

The test was somewhat unpleasant, but it was over quickly, and they got matching letters a few days later.

"I've never done it like this before," Loki said.

"First time for both of us, then," Thor answered gently.

"How different do you think it will be?"

"I don't know. I guess we'll find out."

Loki nodded. He paused a moment, and Thor began to fear that he would ask him to move to his stomach, but then he rose up and settled himself between Thor's opened thighs. Loki raised one, then the other, hooking Thor's knees over his shoulders. As he brought his cock into place, he paused a moment, looking down at where they touched. Then he nodded to himself and pressed. It felt... easier, softer. No amount of lube really made up for the way latex irritated his sensitive passage. From the first moment he could tell that this would be more comfortable. Even better was the faint look of awe on Loki's face.

Thor reached up, cupping a pale cheek in his hand and running his thumb along the delicate bone. "This is good," he said. "And you can go a lot harder without hurting me, I think."

Something sparked in Loki's eyes as they grew hungrier. He shifted his weight to balance on one hand as the other slid under Thor's lower back, pulling him up to meet greedy thrusts. He didn't hesitate to go harder, as hard as he could, and Thor took it and loved it. He curled and bucked, meeting each demanding drive into him, and Loki let go of his hip to grasp his cock. Without the slight discomfort of the latex holding him back his peak grew close almost embarrassingly quickly, the press deep within urging him towards inevitability. He cried out as he came, his body curling itself tighter, and Loki gave one last plunge even deeper, even harder, and then Thor was being filled with hot waves that made him see stars.

He fell asleep mere moments after Loki lowered his legs gently down, one shaking arm wrapped around the lithe figure. The room had fallen into twilight when he woke to Loki's fingers gliding back inside him, slick and wet. He looked up and Loki met his gaze. "I want more," Loki said.

*****

Thor had heard that the holidays, in particular, were difficult after losing a loved one, but the full gravity of the fact didn't hit him until the stores began to put up their Christmas decorations and play songs about it being the season of joy. As they walked past a cheerily decorated storefront on the way to dinner, gloved hands clasped, Thor asked suddenly, "What do we do for Christmas? People without families?"

Loki's glance was kind. "Sometimes I go somewhere they don't celebrate it. Other years I stay home and try to pretend it's not happening. But... it's not like I ever had a family to lose." He squeezed Thor's hand. "What do you want to do?"

Not _what are you going to do_. It was the first time Loki had actually assumed he'd want to be together. He smiled. "Come over? Stay with me?"

"Okay."

That in itself raised a new set of questions, of course. What in the world do you give someone with enough money to have already bought anything he could ever want? Loki seemed to have finally accepted Thor's interest, but he was still forbidding any serious talk of emotions. And what did Thor really have to give but his heart?

*****

He had his answer that weekend when he stayed at Loki's for the night. Loki may have said he never had a family, but the evidence to the contrary was all around them.

"What's that smile?" Loki asked suspiciously as Thor formed an idea.

Thor kissed him. "You're going to have to wait and see."

*****

Thor spent most of the 24th cooking frantically, his fingers flipping from page to page in Bestla's recipe book as he tried to manage his kitchen time as well as she had. He didn't, of course, but he got close enough that by the time Loki arrived at seven, everything was hidden away in the fridge and Thor had run around spraying the house with pine scent to cover up the tastier holiday smells. Loki held up a bottle of champagne as Thor opened the door.

"Dom," Thor grinned. "That'll go great with the pizza I ordered."

Loki made a pained face but came in anyway. His eyes widened as he looked around. "A tree? I thought we were hiding from Christmas."

"Nope. Better."

"Oh. Well, it's good I brought this then," Loki said, pulling a small wrapped package out of his bag to place beneath the twinkling branches.

Thor had, indeed, ordered pizza, and the champagne did go well with it. After dinner they sprawled on the sofa and watched Die Hard, Thor's favorite Christmas movie. When Loki cocked an elegant eyebrow at the ending, Thor pinned him down and tickled him until he admitted that he had, in fact, enjoyed it. While his intentionally seductive laugh did unspeakable things to Thor, his true fondness was for this machine-gun staccato. It made him want to make Loki laugh forever, and he _may_  have kept tickling for a moment longer than absolutely necessary.

*****

Thor snuck downstairs after Loki fell asleep. He pulled out the stockings that he'd already stuffed and laid them next to the oven vent that Bestla had used in lieu of a fireplace. Loki's was nearly bursting with Reece's cups. Thor found Loki's fondness for the cheap candy almost endlessly charming. ( _What?_ Loki had asked when Thor had commented he was surprised to find Loki enjoying supermarket chocolate. _I'm not a snob_. The best part was he truly seemed to believe it.) He ate some of the fresh almond cookies and drank a glass of milk, leaving the dishes next to the stockings before creeping back silently to bed.

Thor woke vaguely disoriented. Loki _always_  slept on the right... but he was on the left as Thor opened his eyes. Loki smiled gently. "Merry Christmas," he said.

"Merry Christmas," Thor answered, his voice bleary with sleep. "You moved. Was I kicking?"

"No," Loki said, draping an arm across Thor's waist. "I woke up before you, and I... I thought you might want to know you weren't alone when you woke up."

Thor rested his hand on Loki's. "Thank you. That was thoughtful." Loki blushed, but he didn't look away. _Progress_ , thought Thor. _We'll get there yet._  "You must be hungry if you've been awake a while. Let's go get breakfast," he said.

Thor fell behind as they went downstairs, letting Loki reach the kitchen first.

"Stockings?" he said as they came into view.

"Stockings," Thor said firmly.

"I have a picture of me opening a stocking once, but I don't remember it."

Thor wrapped his arms around him, pressing Loki's slender figure to his chest. "You'll remember this," he said.

Loki leaned back into the embrace before reaching out. "This one must be mine," he said, tearing open an orange wrapper and taking a huge bite of chocolate.

"Save some room for breakfast," Thor told him, nuzzling his face into Loki's bed-messed hair.

"What are we having?"

"It's a surprise," Thor said, letting go and moving his own stocking off the burner to start cooking.

Loki gave him an arch look but sat down to keep eating his candy. By the time Thor set a plate in front of him, the stocking was half-empty. "Eggs Florentine," Thor said proudly.

"That's so rich, Thor," Loki said. "You have no concern for my waistline." Thor stared pointedly at the pile of empty wrappers. "Those don't count. Candy from Santa Claus doesn't have calories."

"At least eat the spinach."

Loki ended up eating everything, though he was turning slightly green by the end of it. Thor praised himself silently; he had far less concern for Loki's waistline than he did for the painful hollows under his eyes, the cling of skin to over-fragile bones. Few things in life would make him happier than filling them in with care and chocolate and hollandaise.

"Come on," Thor said, standing and reaching out a hand, "Let's digest and watch Die Hard 2."

Loki sprawled across the worn sofa, his head resting in Thor's lap, one regretful hand draped across his stomach, the other entangled with Thor's. "That was _way_  worse than the first one," he groaned as the credits rolled.

"But it made you laugh," Thor said. Loki shrugged. "Do you want your present?"

"Of course I want my present," Loki said, sitting up instantly.

"Okay. Just a minute while I get the oven preheating," Thor said, grinning at Loki's narrow-eyed suspicion. When he returned, it was to find Loki already holding his present and squeezing it curiously. "That won't work. I put it in a box," he said, swooping down to kiss away the pout his words invoked. He reached between the branches of the tree to pull out two smaller boxes. "Open this first," he said, placing one on Loki's lap.

Loki cocked his eyebrow as he tore it open to find a Santa hat. "Put it on," Thor urged, ripping open his own package and donning his own, matching, one. Loki tugged it reluctantly on. Thor grinned at him. "Okay, open your present," he urged.

Loki eased the paper open, more carefully on this one, to uncover a box. He took the small scissors that were kept on the coffee table to cut open the tape, and opened the cardboard flaps to find a small framed painting. He lifted it out and held it up, looking at it closely. "It's by your grandma," he said uncertainly. "Are you sure you want to give this away?"

Thor nodded. "She always wanted her art to be with people it would mean something to. And I thought you'd like the dolphins. It reminded me of our picnic."

Loki leaned over and gave Thor an awkward kiss on the cheek. "It does. Thank you," he said. His eyes were a little wet when they looked back down at the delicate watercolor. It had, actually, been very difficult for Thor to give away one of Bestla's works, but seeing Loki's reaction affirmed that he'd made the right decision. The only real gift he could give to Loki was one from his heart. "I think I would have liked to meet her," Loki said.

"She would have liked you," Thor answered. "She was the kindest person I've ever known."

"That's where you get it from, then," Loki said, looking again at the painting. "Open your present," he said after a moment, clearing his throat.

Thor smiled and slid his finger under the carefully taped flap, coaxing it open. Inside was a book. "Oh... thank you," he said. He wasn't really a fan of Poe, though he didn't dislike him, but the book did look old and fancy.

"Look inside, at the pictures," Loki prompted him. He opened it carefully, flipping through until his thumb stopped at a plate. It was a black-and-white line drawing, and it was _perfect_.

"Is this...?" Thor started.

"It's by Harry Clarke," Loki answered. "You like Beardsley," he said, waving his hand at the pictures stuck up on the walls, "and I think these are just as beautiful, but he doesn't really get noticed anymore. So I thought maybe you'd like it."

"It's beautiful," Thor said, turning the pages to find more pictures. "I don't know how I've never heard of him before." He leaned over and kissed Loki's cheek, pleased at the faint pink tint that resulted. He continued to page through until he'd seen all the illustrations, holding the slim volume between them so they could both enjoy it.

When he'd finished, Thor set the book carefully aside and held his hand out to Loki. "Now come sit on Santa's lap and tell him what a good boy you've been this year," he said playfully.

Loki looked relieved to have the somber atmosphere broken, and he quickly curled into Thor's lap and leaned over to whisper into his ear. "I really have tried to be good this year," he breathed. "I'm dating someone I like, and I'm trying to be nice. It's not always easy but I'm doing my best."

Thor ran a hand up Loki's tense leg. "Santa knows how hard you're trying," he answered. "He thinks you've been a very good boy indeed."

"Do I get a reward, then?" Loki asked, standing just long enough to straddle Thor's thighs before sinking back down. He leaned forward to run his tongue along the beating pulse in Thor's throat.

Thor's breath caught. This wasn't quite how he'd planned this, but there was no way in fucking _hell_  he was going to argue, not with the way Loki was wiggling so deliciously against him. "Anything you want," he answered when he could talk, reaching between them to unzip Loki's slim pants. He reached up to take off his Santa hat.

"No. Leave it on," Loki said.

Thor tightened his arms around Loki's back and stood, carrying him towards the stairs as Loki wrapped his legs around Thor's solid torso. Christmas dinner ended up not going into the oven for another three hours. No one minded.

*****

February came, gray and dull. But it was not without its rewards.

"Where do you want to go for Valentine's Day?" Thor asked.

Loki's lip curled. "I don't. Everywhere gets overbooked and they have shitty prix fixe menus."

"We should do _something_ ," Thor urged.

"You can come over for spaghetti if you want."

It wouldn't have been romantic from anyone else. But from Loki, it was. The closest he'd ever come to cooking for Thor was pointing out where he kept the cereal. So he smiled. "Spaghetti sounds perfect."

*****

Thor knocked for the third time, beginning to worry, when Loki opened the door, wearing just a pair of clingy black jeans. His hair hung wet and curly around his face, and his skin glowed damply. "I was in the shower," he said brusquely as Thor stepped forward to kiss his cheek.

"Mmm-hmm. You smell nice," Thor said. He did; the grapefruit note in his shower gel always seemed stronger than it did in the matching cologne, which faded too quickly to rosemary. The bright citrus seemed fresh and cheerful, and Thor liked to think that it rubbed off on Loki's mood, at least for a few minutes. It didn't seem to be working today, though.

"And I changed my mind. We're having rigatoni instead," Loki added, turning to pad barefoot towards the kitchen.

"Okay," Thor said, following. "Is everything all right, Loki?" It certainly sounded like he was trying to pick a fight.

Loki sighed. "I got a letter from my mom this morning."

" _What?_  Fuck. I don't know what to say. What did she write?"

"I don't know. I didn't read it."

"Oh... do you want me to, and tell you if it's something you want to know?"

"I guess that would have been a good idea," Loki admitted, "but I threw it down the incinerator."

Thor looked at him a moment and burst into laughter. Loki's mouth twitched, then curled, and then he was laughing too. Thor leaned in to kiss him again, and this time, Loki turned to meet him.

"You look incredible like this," Thor murmured against Loki's lips as he twined his fingers into the lush curls. "Can the rigatoni wait?"

"Mmm-hmm," Loki answered.

"Thank _fuck_ ," Thor breathed, sinking to his knees.

 _Incredible_  was an understatement. Kneeling before him, looking up past the taut planes of his stomach, his firm chest still glowing from the warm water, up to his face with its proud, delicate bones, thin but sensuous lips, and burning eyes, Thor knew what it was to worship at the feet of a god. Even more so when he lowered the zipper and eased the jeans down from slim hips, releasing Loki’s cock to spring free. But when he leaned forward, rubbing it across every inch of his face before swallowing it down, Loki was richly, vitally _human_ , his breathy sounds of pleasure all the more precious for his fragile mortality.

Loki leaned back against the wall and raised his hands to trace Thor’s hollowed cheeks with careful thumbs, stroking parted lips with tender fingers. His head fell forward and he watched Thor from beneath dark lashes as Thor took him slowly deeper. He was still forbidding any words of caring, and Thor closed his eyes, finally able to let his tongue and lips give voice to all the tenderness he couldn’t speak.

Thor choked briefly, and Loki shifted instantly away to let him catch his breath. When Thor grabbed at his hips to pull him closer again, Loki’s hushed sob was almost brutally erotic. The constriction of his own pants was growing almost painful against his own erection, and he reached down with one hand to open them. He had intended only to release the pressure, but when Loki heard the zipper sliding down, he curled his fingers in Thor’s hair. “ _Yes_ , Thor. That’s right, I want you to,” he murmured.

So Thor began to stroke himself as he sucked harder, taking Loki just a little more down with each glide. He worked them both at the same speed, letting their sparks of need fuel each other’s fires. Loki was so smooth beneath his lips, almost like velvet, and the heady musk that whispered promises from the black curls was intoxicating. Thor's mouth filled with salt as Loki began to pant, the rich sound sending him even higher, the familiar knot of tension deep in his belly coiling in tighter and tighter as he sucked and stroked. He looked up to find that Loki's head had fallen back to rest against the wall, his eyes glazed with lust as he watched Thor's lips taking him in.

Loki's panting grew harsh and rough, his cock swelling slightly as he grew close. "Thor, don't stop - _harder_  -" he gasped. So Thor sucked harder, sliding down as far as he could on each stroke, working himself harder in response until he was coming, groaning his pleasure as he moved frantically, desperate to bring Loki with him up to his peak, and then Loki's hips bucked against him and froze as he spilled himself into Thor. Thor continued to stroke his own cock through his orgasm, giving it a rough pull with each pulse of Loki's come, until their pleasures blended so perfectly he couldn't tell them apart.

When they both finished, Loki collapsed bonelessly against the wall, and Thor sank down to sit on the floor at his feet, his head leaning against Loki's thigh. Loki’s eyes were as warm and soft as Thor had ever seen them as he looked down, gently caressing one of Thor’s cheeks. They smiled at each other, Loki’s breaking suddenly into laughter. “Better than shitty prix fixe?” he asked.

“Much,” Thor agreed, laughing back up at him.

*****

Thor looked up in surprise as Leo appeared in the doorway to his office. He'd been pointedly avoiding Thor for months now, and he was nearly the last person on earth Thor would have expected to show up.

"Hey," Leo said, sitting down in the chair opposite the desk, his face unsure.

"Hi," Thor said, equally hesitant.

"Look. I've been... seeing someone about anger management." Leo trailed off.

"Uh-huh?"

"And, well, my therapist thinks it would be good if I started apologizing to the people I've mistreated. So, um, I'm here to apologize. I really do feel like a complete jerk about how I've treated you."

"Oh. Uh... thank you?"

Leo nodded, his fingers twisting together. "And I heard you're seeing Loki now?"

"Yeah?" Thor said, his hands clenching on the armrests of his chair.

"No, don't worry. I think it's great, actually. I can picture you two being really good together. I was wondering, do you think he'll talk to me? I mean, I understand if he won't, but I'd really like to tell him how sorry I am. Anyway, don't rush it, but if there's a good time to bring it up, would you see if he's willing to hear me out? I really do feel like shit, and sometimes I made _him_  feel like shit, and he didn't deserve it."

Thor shrugged. "I'll tell him, but don't get your hopes up. He's been trying really hard to avoid you."

"I noticed," Leo said ruefully.

The opportunity presented itself that weekend. They'd gone to a movie at the art house a couple miles from Loki's building, and the crisp air held just enough promise of spring that they agreed to walk back. Loki was in a particularly good mood; after tugging on his gloves, he took Thor's hand before Thor had the chance, and their arms swung casually with their steps.

"Loki?" Thor began tentatively.

"Yeah?"

"Leo came by my office to talk to me a few days ago, about you. He's seeing someone about anger management, and he asked me to pass on his apology and see if you'd be willing to talk to him." Loki stiffened. "You don't have to if you don't want to," Thor added quickly.

Loki's brows drew together. "I want to think about it." He shifted his hand to twine his fingers with Thor's. "Will you stay with me tonight?"

"Of course."

*****

They walked into the café together and looked around at the empty tables.

"Would it be too weird for you to sit with us?" Loki asked.

"It would definitely be weird, but I'll do it if you want."

"Thanks."

They sat down next to each other. Loki's body was humming with tension, and Thor shifted his leg to press his calf against Loki's. After a moment, the pressure was returned. Thor was trying to make idle talk about the menu to provide a distraction when a gust of chilly air hit him and he saw Loki's face change. It was unsettling, almost sickening, to watch the old mask of sneering indifference slam down. But Thor bit his tongue, knowing that it wasn't for him, this time. And he'd seen how long it had taken for the bruise on Loki's shin to heal, after Leo had shoved him into Thor's metal desk. So he figured Loki had the right to handle this how he wanted.

"Hi," Leo said nervously, sinking in the seat opposite them. Thor smiled weakly.

Loki reacted only after a painfully long pause. "You wanted to talk to me?" he said, his tone radiating infinite boredom. Thor likely would have believed it, were it not for Loki's fingers digging into his thigh. He put his hand over Loki's and rubbed it gently with his thumb.

"Yeah. Um, can we get something to drink?" Leo asked, twisted around to look for a server.

"I _hardly_  think that's a good idea for you," Loki answered.

Leo flushed. "I just meant coffee."

"Whatever."

"Okay." Leo took a deep breath and blew it out, bracing himself. "I've been seeing someone about dealing with my anger better, and impulse control, and - " 

"How about being an asshole?" Loki asked.

Thor watched the muscle in Leo's jaw tense, but he answered calmly. "I don't think that was entirely one-sided." 

Loki shrugged.

"So. We've been talking a lot about you, about us, and he thought I should apologize to you. I didn't realize at the time how horrible I was being, but I'm starting to get an idea of it now. I’m-”

Leo cut off as their server arrived to take their order. Thor and Loki got sandwiches, while Leo just got a coffee. He hadn’t even looked at the menu, and from the way he was fidgeting the utensils in his fingers, Thor suspected he was too nervous to think about food. They sat in silence until she returned with their drinks.

Once she was gone, Leo continued. “I’m really ashamed of myself, and I do feel really terrible. I am more sorry than I can say. Do you think you can forgive me?" Leo asked. 

Loki was silent a moment. Then he shrugged. "I'll say whatever will make you leave me alone."

Leo’s face fell, but his voice was calm when he spoke. "That's fair. I know you don’t owe me anything."

Loki's lips were white with pressure as he gave a sharp nod. He stared at the wall as Leo pulled his coat on and turned towards the door. "Leo," he said suddenly. Leo stopped and turned back. "It... it wasn't all bad. It was good, sometimes."

Leo smiled. "Thanks. If you'd ever consider maybe being friends, I'd like that."

Loki was silent as Leo left.

"You were awesome, baby," Thor said, squeezing his hand. "I know that was tough, especially right after getting that letter from your mom. I'm really proud of you."

"I want to go now," Loki said. "I don't want to stay here."

"That's fine. I'll just pay for our food."

Thor found their server and handed her enough money to cover everything, then returned to the table where Loki was getting himself wrapped up against the cold.

"We're all set," he said.

Thor wrapped his arm around Loki's waist as they melted into the busy sidewalk. "Things were... sometimes worse than what I saw, weren't they?" he asked gently.

"They were," Loki said quietly. "Sometimes."

Thor squeezed him tight. "If you ever feel like there's something wrong, like I'm not treating you with respect, please tell me, okay?"

Loki's face softened. "I will. But you always have,” he said.

*****

Thor's summer was busy, with many of his colleagues on vacation over their kids' summer breaks, but once school started and everyone was back in the office, he was able to take a few days off. Thor happily agreed when Loki suggested taking his yacht out; he thought the trip sounded wonderful, and even better was the way Loki was growing to trust that Thor really did want to spend time with him.

When Thor showed up with his bags the morning they were to set sail, Loki was already there. "I'm just finishing the checks, once you stow your things we can get going," he said.

Thor looked around. "Where's the captain?" he asked.

"Oh." Loki looked surprised. "I can call and see if she's free. I'd thought it would be just us."

"Don't we need a captain?" She'd been there, a calm, capable presence, every time Thor had attended one of Loki's sailing parties.

Loki shrugged. "I can do it. It's just nice to not be stuck at the wheel in the middle of a party."

"Just us sounds perfect."

They spent their days sailing along the coast, laughing at their speed when the wind was high, exploring rocky shores when it grew low, stopping each evening just before sunset. A few nights they rented space at marinas, getting rid of waste and taking on fresh water, but most nights were spent anchored in secret inlets where they could indulge in the feel of the setting sun before the chilly nights forced them below.

Thor loved to watch as the colors of sunset passed over Loki's skin, tinting him first golden, and then rosy, and finally dusky with purple shadows. Loki would sprawl luxuriously on his back, purring in pleasure as Thor ran a greedy tongue across him, tracing the delicate lines of his ribs, laving at the hollows of his hipbones. They made a game of it, seeing how long Loki could relax under Thor's onslaught before he would rise up and prepare and _take_ , the sound of their bodies moving together echoed by the slap of the waves against the hull, their cries waking the lazy waterbirds.

Loki took him everywhere on the deck, as though marking each inch of it as theirs and theirs alone. He moved over Thor on the deep padded benches, his hair falling down around them until there was nothing left of the world but them alone. He bent him over the rail, nude but for garish orange floatation vests, their reflections mere panting shadows silhouetted against the darkening sky. One dizzying night, anchored in the middle of a wide bay, Loki flipped on the engine with a wicked grin before backing Thor against the wheel, fucking into him as the boat spun erratically in the water. Each smooth thrust sent the wheel stuttering until Thor couldn't tell whether his head was spinning from the feel of Loki driving within him or the constant pivoting about the anchor, until it all combined into a heady peak that left Thor biting desperately into Loki's shoulder as he spilled hot and wild between them.

Sailing back, the last day before Thor had to return to work, the skyline of the city had never looked less welcome.

*****

They spent the last day of their year in Loki's bed, clinging to one another like drowning men as sighs gave way to gasps, until at last they were coaxing forth moan after breathy moan. Thor wasn't quite sure when it had happened, when it was that Loki sliding _in_  became Loki sliding _home_. But he was sure that Loki felt it too.

As dusk fell, Loki spoke. "You can't stay tonight, Thor," he said, his eyes misty. "The spell ends at midnight. The carriage turns back into a pumpkin."

"Loki, _please_. Do we really have to do this? Can't we forget about all that?"

But Loki shook his head _no_. "You know the rules. You're the one who made them."

At 11:59, they stood kissing passionately in the doorway.

At 12:00, Loki slammed the door in Thor's face. 

At 11:00, Thor was back, knocking.

Loki opened the door. He curled his lip, but they were both aware how it trembled. " _Really_? How long this time? Another year? Ooh, perhaps five?" he asked.

"No," Thor said, reaching into his pocket and kneeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, everyone! I may end up posting an epilogue chapter, I haven't decided yet. I like what I've thought of for it, but I also really like the ending I have here, and I like the symmetry of them having two chapters apart and two chapters together. I may end up reworking it and posting it as an independent ficlet.


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